When it comes to education, the choice of whether to send your child to boarding school can be quite significant. For someone like me, growing up in a modest town in West Virginia, attending boarding school was seen as an opportunity to access the elite education that children from affluent areas, such as Greenwich or the Upper East Side, often take for granted. My mother understood the harsh realities of income inequality in the 1980s; she believed that gaining admission to a prestigious college was essential for my social mobility. She worried that the local high schools would not provide the rigorous college preparatory courses or the networking opportunities necessary for a successful college application process.
Thus, I found myself packing for boarding school, accompanied by a trunk filled with clothes meticulously crafted by my mother and grandmother from vintage patterns they considered “preppy.” However, what they thought was fashionable turned out to be quite off the mark. My plaid skirts and knee-high socks were starkly outclassed by my peers’ Laura Ashley dresses and trendy tees. I reached out to my mother, pleading for a wardrobe update, but it wasn’t feasible—our family had barely scraped together the funds for my initial clothing. So, I adjusted to my surroundings, navigating my first year feeling out of place and isolated.
Despite the initial challenges, attending boarding school broadened my horizons in many ways. I immersed myself in a community that was drastically different from my upbringing, learning to navigate both the Upper East Side and my Appalachian roots. My experience was akin to a four-year anthropological study on privilege and class structure in America—insights that may have eluded me had I remained in my small, homogeneous hometown. This exposure heightened my awareness of socioeconomic disparities and allowed me to form lasting friendships, some of which continue to enrich my life today.
While I earned a full scholarship to a distinguished university, I find myself hesitant to replicate my boarding school experience for my children. My mother aimed to alter our family’s trajectory, reminiscent of families in the past sending their children abroad for a brighter future. However, if there are local educational options that rival those boarding schools provide, I prefer my children to remain at home. Adolescents thrive with parental guidance, needing daily support and a nurturing environment to navigate the complexities of growing up.
Moreover, I believe it’s crucial for children to learn practical life skills—such as cooking and budgeting—that I missed out on during my teenage years. Thankfully, the internet has filled in some of those gaps for me. For those of you with boarding school backgrounds, remember that a dab of Clorox wipes can work wonders, and mastering braising is easier than it seems.
On a personal note, I also feel reluctant to part with my children for four years sooner than necessary. My husband, who lived at home until graduate school, is similarly apprehensive about the boarding school concept. He questions the value of paying a premium for an education that might expose our kids to questionable morals. My counterpoint is simple: no high school is entirely free of challenges.
The reality we face is that access to quality education often correlates with wealth, and we find ourselves navigating this landscape with limited resources. This may involve some creative solutions, including the option of homeschooling.
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In summary, while boarding school can provide unique educational opportunities, the decision to send your child should be weighed carefully against the benefits of remaining close to home and family support.