Dear Firstborn,
I want to extend my sincerest apologies to you, my precious child. Reflecting on the early years, I realize that I became overly fixated on your sleep schedule. Those moments spent trying to establish a nap routine were some of my most challenging as a parent. I often found myself yelling, expressing frustration, and sometimes even leaving you to cry. I believed that sleep was essential for your well-being, but in truth, you didn’t need a frantic parent urging you to rest. For that, I am truly sorry.
I also regret that you spent so much time surrounded by adults during your formative years. As an only child myself, and with your father’s relatives living far away, there were limited playmates. Furthermore, I had not yet formed a network of mommy friends. This likely contributed to your serious demeanor. While the world certainly benefits from responsible firstborns, I worry that I may have deprived you of the carefree joys of childhood.
I must also apologize for the blandness of your early diet. Although I prepared homemade baby food, you were stuck with unseasoned sweet potatoes, carrots, and peas for far too long. Your younger sibling has enjoyed a much more varied diet, which has resulted in a more adventurous palate. I hope that one day you will embrace a wider range of flavors.
Additionally, I regret dragging you to numerous baby activities long before you could even sit up. My need for adult interaction often overshadowed your own needs, and you became my excuse to socialize.
I acknowledge that I was too harsh with discipline in those early days. Your father and I were inexperienced, and we often resorted to spanking and excessive timeouts. We were learning as we went along, and you bore the brunt of our trials. I am deeply sorry for that.
You still feel the impact of our learning curve, facing the complexities of homework, curfews, and college applications as our firstborn. Although I’ve relaxed my standards for being the “perfect” mother, I still feel the weight of wanting to get it right with you. You have given me the ultimate gift—making me a mother. In every sense, you will always be my baby.
I understand this is a lot to carry, and I sincerely apologize for any burden I have placed on you. Thank goodness for your siblings who provide you with camaraderie and balance.
With love,
Mom
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In summary, this letter serves as an acknowledgment of my early parenting mistakes, particularly concerning my firstborn. From sleep schedules to dietary choices, I recognize the areas where I could have approached matters with more sensitivity and understanding. It is my hope that you will forgive my shortcomings and grow to embrace your own journey.