9 Ways Adulthood Has Derailed My ’80s Childhood Aspirations

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Being a child in the ’80s was undeniably awesome. I relished in big hairstyles, making mixtapes, and crushing on the latest boy band heartthrobs. Growing up, I was convinced adulthood would be a dazzling experience, so fabulous that sunglasses would be a necessity.

Fast forward to today, and while my shades might still be trendy, they’re not impressed by the view. Adulthood has its perks, but when I compare my current reality to the whimsical dreams I had in my youth, it feels a bit underwhelming. Here are nine ways my adult life has taken a sledgehammer to my ’80s dreams:

  1. My Car Stays Grounded.

    I learned to drive on a manual transmission 1985 Volkswagen Jetta. My parents declared that “driving stick is cool,” but as I struggled to shift gears up a hill with a line of honking cars behind me, I felt anything but cool. I envisioned flying cars that would let me zoom above traffic—now I’m just stuck behind the wheel of my minivan, which is definitely not the Jetsons’ lifestyle I imagined.

  2. No Robot Companion.

    As a kid, I was sure that every household would have its own robotic maid by the time I had kids. When my parents would ask me to clean my room, I imagined a robot doing it all for me while whipping up breakfast at the same time. Unfortunately, the best I have is a Roomba, which doesn’t quite cut it.

  3. The Pressure for Muscle Tone.

    In my teenage years, I never thought about my abs or biceps. Back then, I was more focused on oversized blazers and comfy flannel shirts. Fast forward to my 40s, and it feels like I’m expected to fit into skinny jeans and tank tops. Wouldn’t it have been easier to hide my postpartum belly under a cozy sweater instead?

  4. Lack of Quirky Extra-Terrestrial Friends.

    I grew up with characters like Mork and E.T., leading me to believe that I’d have an alien or quirky robot friend by now. Life could have been so much more entertaining with a companion to share in bizarre adventures and thought-provoking discussions. Sadly, I’m still waiting for that friend to arrive.

  5. No Moon Visits.

    I had dreams of celebrating my 40th birthday on the moon, which I thought would be common by now. Disappointingly, I’ve yet to find a space travel option available, and the moon seems to have become just another forgotten destination.

  6. Knowledge of Snack Ingredients.

    Wouldn’t it be great to forget what we know about food? I often find myself staring longingly at Little Debbie treats, which were once a breakfast staple. Sure, I’m grateful for my healthier diet now, but sometimes I wish I could indulge in rainbow Jell-O without a second thought.

  7. Exhausting Workouts.

    My mother was a fitness instructor back in the ’80s, and it seemed effortless. I couldn’t wait to grow up and be just as cool. Now, workouts come with a hefty price tag and a level of intensity that leaves me gasping for air. Gone are the days of fun aerobics and a celebratory lunch.

  8. Monotonous Hair Styles.

    The ’80s were a time of hair experimentation—perms, mullets, and everything in between. I once took a leap and cut myself bangs after years of the same style. But alas, I’ve settled into a boring routine with my hair, and it feels like a missed opportunity for creativity.

  9. Roasting a Turkey Still Takes Forever.

    I’ll never forget the wonder of our first microwave. I thought cooking would become a breeze, yet here I am, still relying on my oven for holiday meals. My slow cooker is the closest thing I have to futuristic cooking technology, and even it can’t save me from the lengthy turkey roasting process.

In summary, while adulthood has its perks, it often falls short of the fantastical dreams I harbored as a child of the ’80s. If you find yourself reminiscing about those simpler times, you might enjoy exploring other posts on our blog, like this one here. And for those looking into parenthood, check out reputable resources for at-home insemination kits, like Make a Mom. For further insights into the journey of pregnancy and insemination, visit Parents.


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