Navigating life with a 12-year-old girl can feel like cohabiting with a mini version of the Hulk—one moment they’re cheerful and singing in the shower, the next, they’ve transformed into a whirlwind of sass and emotions. As a 40-something mom, I often find myself oscillating between nurturing supportive parent and the one who’s had enough. The emotional ups and downs can be tiring, yet there are undeniable moments of connection that remind me of our shared experiences. Here are ten ways in which I, as a mother in my 40s, can relate to my tween daughter:
- Fashion Choices: Both of us sport skinny jeans, but the appropriateness of the fit for each other is questionable. While I aim for chic, her jeans often seem a tad too snug. Did she really just call my jeans too tight?
- Skin Care Struggles: We both contend with acne at different life stages. My breakouts remind me that hormonal changes affect all ages, just in different ways.
- Nail Polish Exchange: We frequently dive into each other’s nail polish collections. Sharing this hobby creates a lovely bond, complete with music and chatter. Our current favorite shade? Sugarplum from Forever 21, priced at a mere $2.99.
- Unwanted Hair Growth: Both of us are discovering hair in unexpected areas. Fortunately, my daughter has the option of waxing, while I’ll likely be looking into more permanent solutions.
- Love for Young Adult Fiction: We share a passion for action-packed YA novels that blend adventure with romance. Who can resist a story of a girl who transforms her mundane life into an exciting journey while battling evil and finding love? We can’t wait to catch the movie adaptation together!
- Colorful Language: Both of us tend to use terms like “freakin’” and “crap” a bit too liberally. My playful way of avoiding profanity has become a shared trait with her—either we need to tone it down or embrace our colorful vocabulary.
- Defining “Hot”: We both have our crushes on characters from shows like Nashville. I’ve got my eye on Deacon, while she’s all about Gunnar. I can’t help but wonder how she grasped that “hot” isn’t just a weather term, and whether Nashville is suitable for her age.
- Views on Running: To both of us, running feels like punishment rather than a fun activity. I distinctly remember when the dread of PE set in—who enjoys sweating and sore muscles? Yet, we both recognize the importance of exercise. Maybe we should invest in matching sneakers.
- Friendship Insecurities: Despite my adult status, I still face the same doubts about friendships that she does. I might have more experience navigating social circles, but it doesn’t make the feelings any less real. Thankfully, I can guide her through these challenges.
- Dream Support: My daughter shines as a talented singer in her school band, and I’m her proudest supporter. Watching her perform is heartwarming, and it reminds me of my own dreams. Recently, I fulfilled my fantasy of being in an all-girl band for a school event, and while she may have been slightly embarrassed, she cheered me on enthusiastically.
Parenting a tween can be overwhelming, but it’s these shared moments that make it worthwhile—even if I occasionally catch a glimpse of my own butt crack.
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In summary, mothers and their pre-teen daughters share many similarities that bridge their age gaps, showcasing how life experiences, challenges, and interests can create a strong bond.