Motherhood can feel like an endless whirlwind. The moment you welcome your baby, there’s a cascade of emotions—pain, blood, and the challenges of breastfeeding, all while sleep becomes a distant memory. This is quickly followed by a two-year period of constant vigilance—your child’s well-being is paramount as they learn to walk, run, and inevitably tumble off the couch. The shuttling begins: back and forth from school, activities, and playdates, leaving you utterly exhausted. And let’s not forget the endless cycle of meal preparations; I mean, how many ways can you make chicken enticing on a school night? Sorry, kiddo, broccoli is on the menu again.
Then come the birthday parties, field trips, and the emotional rollercoaster of your child feeling left out. The tears need immediate attention, a giant cup of hot chocolate is required, and oh, we’re out of marshmallows? Off I go, snow boots and all, to save the day! As they enter the turbulent years of adolescence—hormones, heartbreak, and homework—you find yourself navigating a minefield of forgotten communication and awkward conversations. You discover rolling papers in their room and attempt the “talk” about safe practices, only to be met with eye-rolls and exasperation. You stay up late, anxiously waiting for them to return from parties, praying for their safety.
And then, just like that, they head off to college. Suddenly, you’re met with silence—months may pass without a single response from your once-dependent child. The baby you nurtured is now an adult who seems to have forgotten your existence, dismissing you as an outdated relic of their past. If you dare to text, be prepared for the likelihood that they are far too engrossed in their collegiate adventures to reply.
Recently, during an Oscar acceptance speech, J.K. Simmons urged everyone to call their parents rather than texting. “If you are lucky enough to have a parent or two alive, call them,” he advised. This moment made me want to share his wisdom on my son Matt’s Facebook wall, but I held back.
To be fair, I had just spent the weekend visiting Matt in Chicago, where he was inundated with responsibilities—writing papers, performing in plays, and attending late-night a cappella practices. My attempts to connect were overshadowed by his busy schedule.
To shed some light on the silent treatment many parents experience, I’m sharing five screenshots of texts I sent to my son during his freshman year, hoping to bring some humor to the situation. Just wait until he becomes a parent himself and is sending frantic texts like, “Oh my God, Mom, the baby is yellow!” or “Help! What do I do?” I’ll be ready to respond in kind.
- When I was away for a few days.
- After two weeks of silence.
- Later that same day, then two days after, and again three days later.
- On his birthday (I even tried calling).
- During finals week.
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In summary, the transition from hands-on parenting to distant college communication can be jarring, filled with unanswered texts and mixed emotions. As your child embarks on their journey to independence, remember that silence doesn’t equate to lack of love—it’s just part of the process.