In the realm of chosen families, my closest friends and I have found a sisterhood that fills the void of not having biological sisters. I am an only child, while my friends, Kelly, Jessica, and Emma* (*not their real names), have brothers. Our friend, Sarah*, tragically lost her sister to health issues a few years ago.
We first connected in college, forging a bond that has lasted over 25 years. Our youthful days were filled with big hair, oversized sweaters, and wild eyebrows, capturing the essence of our generation—a time that felt like a blend of The Breakfast Club and Reality Bites, with photo albums to document our journey through it.
As we navigated college life at a university near Boston, we shared a suite during our junior year, where spontaneous late-night parties often occurred. Vicky would sometimes call me from her room next door, discussing life-altering topics, like whether I would be willing to donate an egg if she ever needed one. (She later did conceive naturally, so I kept all my eggs—thankfully!)
By our senior year, we moved into a house together, where debates arose over shared responsibilities, such as purchasing toilet paper for the communal bathroom. Yet, we also enjoyed carefree days driving to scenic spots like Walden Pond, reveling in the simplicity of life before adult responsibilities set in. I like to imagine us as a pentagon of love and support—occasionally bickering, but always united.
After graduation, life led us to different cities across North America—New York, Washington, DC, Los Angeles, Fort Lauderdale, and Montreal. While I miss them, the initial pang of longing has softened; I now feel their presence in my life, providing support from afar. In our younger years, attendance at every gathering felt crucial, but as we grew older and faced the loss of loved ones and personal challenges, we learned to cherish every reunion, whether it’s just two of us catching up or a full weekend together.
Recently, we reunited in Miami for a weekend getaway to celebrate Jessica’s birthday. Familiarity with each other’s quirks made planning easier, so we carved out time for shopping while others indulged in different activities. Even with some minor inconveniences—like early wake-up calls or debates over shared towels—we frequently reminded ourselves how fortunate we are to still have each other in our lives. Our differing personalities mean we don’t always align in our plans, but that’s perfectly acceptable; the key is simply being together.
Becoming a mother to twin girls brought about many anxieties, particularly regarding sibling dynamics. As someone who grew up alone, I thought I’d struggle with sharing and compromise. However, my chosen sisters have taught me invaluable lessons about negotiation, respect, and love—even after disagreements.
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In summary, the bonds formed through friendship can provide the same support and love typically associated with familial relationships. Whether navigating the complexities of life or celebrating joyous moments, these connections are invaluable.