As a parenting expert, I’ve been meaning to address a common misconception that seems to persist among expectant parents, particularly regarding third children. While I aim to be succinct as my young toddler is busy exploring every nook and cranny of my home, I find it vital to debunk the stereotype that third children are inherently “mellow” or “easygoing.”
When I was expecting my third child, I frequently encountered the following assertions:
- “They go with the flow.”
- “They’re so laid-back!”
While these statements are often repeated, I must assert that they do not reflect the reality of my experience. It appears that these are the same individuals who assured me that the memories of childbirth pain would fade or that a single piece of chocolate would suffice to satisfy a sweet tooth.
To illustrate, I have significantly childproofed my home with locked cabinets, outlet covers, and closed doors—measures I did not take with my first two children. Ironically, I may have even scoffed at those who did.
My third child, whom I affectionately refer to as Max, is anything but mellow. His ambition to make his presence felt in our family dynamic is evident. His agenda seems to consist of four key objectives:
- Stay awake and alert at all times.
- Create a path of delightful chaos.
- Relocate important items to undisclosed toddler locations.
- Maintain constant contact with his beloved colander.
Max’s attachment to kitchen items, particularly a pasta strainer, is noteworthy. He shows little interest in toys designed for children and instead gravitates toward my Tupperware and cooking utensils. Attempts to reclaim his colander result in a display of sheer toddler fury.
While some children may find comfort in security blankets or stuffed animals, Max holds tight to his kitchen ware. In addition to this obsession, he enjoys hoarding various household items, such as DVDs, toys, and spices, which often turn up in unexpected places. For instance, while cleaning out a gift box, I discovered my sunglasses, an overdue library book, and some half-eaten crackers—all thanks to his “creative storage solutions.”
If you ever want to reduce screen time, just ask any parent of a third child how long they spend searching for the TV remote, as their little ones have likely hidden it somewhere intriguing.
The notion that third children are laid-back is far from the truth. Max is eager to engage with his older siblings, relishing their noise, games, and activities. He is constantly active and seeks attention, making it clear he wants to be part of the family dynamic. However, on rare occasions, he does find a moment of stillness—just long enough for me to locate my misplaced keys and wash out the colander.
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In summary, the stereotype of the mellow third child is misleading and does not reflect my experience. Third children can be just as vibrant and energetic as their siblings, with a strong desire to be involved and heard.