At some point, you may find yourself supporting a friend through the emotional turmoil of divorce. You can feel their pain and the upheaval in their lives, but knowing how to help—or if you should intervene—can be confusing, especially if you’re close to both partners.
When a marriage falls apart, few feel as isolated and vulnerable as the person going through it. Your friend may not even know what they need, making it easy to unintentionally let friendships fade just when they need support the most.
Having gone through a lengthy separation myself, I understand that the effects extend beyond heartache; they can ripple through social circles, altering relationships and experiences. Friends often disappear—especially those who are married—leaving the divorcing person feeling even more alone.
However, good friends want to be supportive. Many of mine reached out, asking how they could help, even if I struggled to articulate my needs. Now, with some distance from my own experience, I can share 18 actionable ways you can stand by a friend during their divorce.
- Host a Cozy Sleepover
Invite your friend and their children for a relaxing family sleepover. It’s a fun way to spend time together, and it offers much-needed help during busy work weekends. - Assist with Packing
Offer to help pack moving boxes, sharing laughs to lighten the load. Your presence can make a daunting task manageable and even enjoyable. - Organize Sunday Brunch
Plan regular Sunday brunches to counter the loneliness that often accompanies that day. It can be comforting to share food and conversation. - Invite for Coffee or Breakfast
Sometimes a simple invitation for coffee can provide an essential opportunity to listen and be present. - Help with Medical Appointments
If your friend is facing health challenges, offer to care for their child during medical visits to provide a calm environment for recovery. - Take Care of the Kids
Offering to watch their kids during work commitments can be immensely helpful. It allows your friend to focus on their responsibilities without the added stress. - Maintain Holiday Traditions
Invite them to continue celebrating holidays with your family, adapting traditions as needed to include their new situation. - Show Up for Dinner
Your presence at dinner—whether planned or spontaneous—can be comforting. Friends who bring joy can lighten the atmosphere. - Assist with Chores
Help with household tasks that can feel overwhelming. A simple gesture like washing dishes can show tremendous support. - Play Matchmaker
If you know single friends who might be compatible, don’t hesitate to introduce them! You never know what connections might form. - Help with Pick-Ups
Offer to assist with school pick-ups or playdates to ease the burden of childcare logistics. - Take Them on a Date
Sometimes, a friendly outing with someone of the opposite sex can provide a refreshing change of pace. - Make Phone Calls
Check in with your friend via phone calls. Hearing a friend’s voice can provide comfort and connection. - Embrace New Partners
Be open and accepting of any new relationships your friend might explore, no matter how casual. - Offer Your Home During Visits
If the ex-spouse comes to town, offering your space can help maintain boundaries and provide a sense of normalcy for the kids. - Join Classes Together
Participate in classes your friend is interested in, even if it’s outside your comfort zone. Shared experiences can strengthen your bond. - Explore New Interests
Encourage your friend to try new hobbies or interests as a way to rediscover themselves post-divorce. - Stay Engaged
Keep the lines of communication open, and continue to reach out even after the initial wave of support. Loneliness can linger long after the divorce is finalized.
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In summary, being a supportive friend during a divorce requires empathy, creativity, and a willingness to lend a hand. By offering simple gestures of kindness, you can help your friend navigate this challenging time while reinforcing your bond.