Recently, a casual acquaintance remarked negatively about my decision to make my 2-year-old son the “focus of my world.” It wasn’t meant to be hurtful, and the individual doesn’t know my family well. Nevertheless, comments like these can be frustrating and unwelcome.
Let’s be clear: Parents of young children are working hard to balance the needs of everyone, including themselves. The last thing they need is added guilt or judgment. At this stage, my son is still very much a baby in many ways, and yes, he is the focal point of my life right now.
I understand this phase is fleeting, having experienced similar early years with my older child, who is now eight. He is independent, sleeping through the night and capable of rolling his eyes in a way that could reach the moon. It’s remarkable how quickly they grow.
However, my younger son, who seeks solace in my lap when he’s upset and looks for me upon waking, truly is my everything for now. And that’s perfectly acceptable.
I also recognize my worth beyond motherhood. I encourage both of my children to develop independence and maintain relationships outside of our family unit. I have not lost sight of my responsibilities to friends, family, and even our planet.
But while my toddler still depends on me for basic needs, I’m choosing to focus more on him than on other aspects of my life. This doesn’t mean I am with him every minute of the day; even when I am apart from him, I can’t help but think about his well-being. I hope caregivers understand his toddler language and can comfort him if he becomes distressed.
This connection is different from my relationship with my older child. The bond with my younger son feels more instinctual and immediate. There is an invisible thread that connects us.
For now, my choices and sacrifices revolve around his needs, as every parent of young children can relate to. This may involve selecting jobs that offer flexibility to be with him, opting for financial restraint, and prioritizing simplicity in our lifestyle. It often means adjusting my sleep schedule, having shorter outings with friends, and occasionally leaving family gatherings early to ensure I am home for bedtime.
I remind myself that this intense period of raising small children is merely a stage in life—a brief moment in time that requires immense giving. It’s crucial to carve out time for myself and remain aware that I cannot satisfy everyone’s expectations. I must tune out critics, accept assistance, and appreciate the abundant blessings in my life, even while yearning for a break from the relentless pace of daily responsibilities.
My little one will soon turn three, and I already sense a transformation in my role—from a mother of toddlers to a mother of growing children. This upcoming phase promises more freedom but also brings heartache. I will miss the softness of his baby hands and the belief that my kisses can erase his pain.
Though no mother ever fully detaches from her children, as they grow, the bonds adjust. Priorities evolve, and the universe of our relationships expands. I can already feel my son beginning to drift away, albeit slowly, with many bumps along the way. My hope is that I am nurturing the confidence and strength he will need to soar into his own future, carrying a piece of me within his heart.
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Summary
This piece emphasizes the importance of prioritizing young children’s needs during their formative years while acknowledging the temporary nature of this phase. It encourages parents to embrace this season of life, recognizing the emotional and practical implications of focusing on their child’s well-being.