8 Inappropriate Movies We Watched as Kids in the ’80s

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Growing up in the ’80s, many of us watched movies that we now realize were far from suitable for kids. It’s quite shocking to look back at some of these films that our parents deemed acceptable. While I’m all for letting kids experience some reality, it’s hard to justify letting them watch a movie where a man stalks camp counselors with a machete when they could be enjoying something more family-friendly, like Frozen.

The introduction of the PG-13 rating in July 1984 was a direct response to concerns about films like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Gremlins, which pushed the envelope of what was deemed appropriate. This shift explains why so many of us were glued to Airplane! and Poltergeist while still figuring out our multiplication tables.

Let’s explore eight films that our parents let us watch back in the ’80s when parenting was less about competition and more about survival. We may have survived, but boy, do we have some stories to tell!

1. Big
   I thought it would be a delightful family movie night when I introduced my kids, ages 7 and 10, to Big. I remembered it as a charming tale of a boy who wishes to become an adult, only to face the repercussions. But midway through, as Tom Hanks’ character drops the F-bomb and awkwardly touches a woman, I found myself wishing I could rewind. The unexpected sexual innuendos and adult themes that I brushed off as a kid were quite the eye-opener for me as a parent.
2. Jaws
   If you want to give your child a lifelong fear of the ocean, then Jaws is your go-to movie. I wisely opted not to show it to my kids, fearing that they’d never want to swim again. The iconic line, “You’re going to need a bigger boat,” may be memorable, but the gory tales told by Quint about the USS Indianapolis are anything but suitable for young audiences today.
3. Poltergeist
   Imagine a movie that combines every childhood fear into one terrifying package, yet is rated PG. That’s Poltergeist for you. From a possessed tree to a clown doll that drags kids under the bed, it’s a nightmarish experience. The casual drug use portrayed by the parents and the man who hallucinates and rips his face off are just a couple of reasons I’ll skip showing this to my kids.
4. Goonies
   I can’t count how many times my friends and I laughed at the line “HOLY SHIT” while watching Goonies. But looking back, it’s filled with inappropriate humor—like the infamous incident involving a ceramic statue’s misplaced anatomy and a series of perilous situations that end in injury. Honestly, I’d need to prepare my sensitive Generation Z kids with some serious calming techniques before letting them watch this one.
5. Friday the 13th
   This movie was practically a rite of passage at every slumber party in elementary school. Rated R for a reason, it features camp counselors engaging in questionable activities before meeting gruesome fates. Common Sense Media rates it at 18+, yet we were blissfully unaware of its intensity back then.
6. Tom and Jerry
   As a small child, I found the antics of Tom and Jerry hysterical. They would inflict extreme violence on each other, yet I thought it was all in good fun. Fast forward to today, and my kids found it less amusing than I did, preferring the more wholesome antics of shows like Yo Gabba Gabba!
7. Annie
   It took me years to realize that Ms. Hannigan’s drunken escapades were a significant part of Annie. Between her attempts to woo Daddy Warbucks and Annie’s perilous escapades, this film is more traumatizing than I remembered as a child. I can only imagine how the new version alters these darker themes.
8. Ghostbusters
   “Who you gonna call?” A question every ’80s kid knows. However, looking back, Ghostbusters is rife with innuendos, including a scene where one of the Ghostbusters receives—let’s call it—unexpected attention from a ghost. Considering the PG-13 rating, this movie snuck in quite a bit of adult humor that would raise eyebrows today.

While kids will eventually learn about the realities of life, it’s important to moderate their exposure to certain themes. As much as I appreciate the lessons these films might offer, I think I’ll stick to more age-appropriate content for now. If you’re interested in more family-friendly options, check out this article on Modern Family Blog.

In summary, the ’80s were a time of less restricted parenting, and many of us grew up with movies that were shockingly inappropriate for children. Whether they taught us valuable life lessons or just gave us nightmares, they certainly left an impact. If you’re curious about pregnancy and home insemination, the CDC offers great resources, and for those considering at-home options, check out this site for quality kits.