As a parent, it’s not uncommon to find yourself uttering phrases that make you question your own sanity. Since becoming a mom, I’ve discovered that my vocabulary has expanded to include some truly nonsensical statements. Below are ten examples of things I’ve recently said that left me pondering their meaning.
- “If you don’t put your shoes on, I’m leaving without you.” Honestly, where would I go without my child? Legally, my options are limited to the backyard or garage.
- “Do you want me to spank you?” It’s a rarity for a child to respond affirmatively to this query.
- “If you don’t tidy up that mess, you’re going straight to bed.” Also, let’s not forget it’s only two in the afternoon!
- “If you don’t stop, I’m turning this car around and we’re going home.” This threat seems to only occur on days when we have important appointments, like at the doctor’s office, bank, or preschool.
- “You have 30 seconds to clean up those toys, or I’m throwing them all away.” In reality, the effort it takes to dispose of “all those toys” is far too much for me.
- “If you don’t eat, I’m not giving you any more dinner.” This statement is fundamentally illogical.
- “I’m going to count to three, and you better stop, or else.” To be honest, even I’m unsure about what “or else” entails.
- “Are you trying to make me mad?” It’s amusing to think my toddlers could be plotting against me. They simply ignore me until I reach my limit.
- “If you don’t start listening, I’m going to stop talking.” Ironically, I’m saying this to toddlers who are already not listening.
- “If you don’t stop playing with your food, I’m going to take it away.” Let’s face it; if they’re not eating, they might just not be hungry.
It seems I need to up my game as my children grow older and realize that they often have the upper hand in these situations. Until then, they have 30 seconds to comply— or else!
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In summary, parenting often leads to some unexpected and silly dialogues that can leave us questioning our own words. Embracing the humor in these moments can make the journey a little more enjoyable.