Parenting can be a remarkably exhausting journey. I find myself utterly drained, to the point where last night I slept in a king-sized bed, a top bunk, a twin bottom bunk, and even on the floor beside the crib, using a Boppy as a pillow—all within the span of a single night from 10 PM to 6:30 AM.
My fatigue is so profound that I leave imprints on the hardwood floor from pacing during sleepless nights. I often think about getting a pedometer to track the calories I burn during my nighttime wanderings, which likely surpass my daytime activity levels. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m expending more energy at night due to constant walking and breastfeeding.
This exhaustion has even led my dog to stop sleeping in my bedroom, as he requires restful sleep and is not nocturnal. I’m so fatigued that I mistakenly poured orange juice into my coffee instead of milk and even squeezed tinted moisturizer onto my toothbrush.
It’s become a regular occurrence for me to put my pants on inside out without realizing it until I’m at my Pure Barre class, where I’m met with curious looks from other attendees. I often search for my keys in the freezer, as they have ended up there before when I was unloading groceries and absentmindedly placed them with the frozen peas.
I have been known to take my home phone in my purse when driving my kids to school, and I often hang up from making appointments only to forget the details immediately after, too embarrassed to call back for clarification. My five-year-old recently completed a Mother’s Day project at school, indicating that my favorite thing is sleep and my favorite drink is coffee—both accurate reflections of my current reality.
I can’t recall the last time I slept through the night without disruptions; it’s likely been over two years. My exhaustion stems in part from being a constant source of nourishment for my nine-month-old. I’ve Googled “baby sleep” more times than I can count in the past nine months, and I feel a surge of frustration each time I read about other parents whose children slept through the night at six weeks because of a “nighttime routine.”
My frustration grows when I see Facebook posts from friends celebrating their infants’ sleep accomplishments at just a couple of months old. They don’t realize the burden they may be placing on those of us who are still struggling with sleepless nights. I have amassed a collection of over a dozen sleep books in my quest for solutions.
Just the other day, while juggling three kids in a minivan, I thought I might have accidentally scraped a parked car in my haste to get to an appointment. When I returned a few minutes later to check, the car was gone. I went to the police station to confess my potential mishap, only to be told to go home and take a nap, as I was clearly in no state to be driving.
With a baby on my hip, I explained to the officer that my minivan has odd dimensions, contributing to my frequent scrapes against trash cans in my garage. One day, I struggled to park my minivan beside the curb on an empty street, feeling the eyes of a construction worker on my failed attempts. After several tries, I opted to drive around the corner to avoid further embarrassment.
Making small talk has become a challenge; I often embarrass myself with awkward comments. For instance, when my daughter’s teacher complimented her pink Converse shoes, I mistakenly mentioned that her husband is obsessed with shoes, meaning my husband instead.
Despite my fatigue, I still find myself reaching for handfuls of chocolate chips or leftover Halloween candy in the afternoon, merely to get through the day until bedtime. I acknowledge that I’ve created this situation for myself. With three children under five, the likelihood of being woken up multiple times a night is high. If I’m up with the baby three times and the three-year-old twice, it totals five interruptions. Hence, three kids equal perpetual sleeplessness.
I truly understand the phrase “bone tired.” I physically ache from exhaustion. I now comprehend why sleep deprivation is recognized as a form of torture. The need for effective sleep training for my baby has reached critical levels.
If you’re interested in learning more about this topic, you can check out some related resources, such as this insightful piece on pregnancy and home insemination.
In conclusion, parenting is a rewarding yet exhausting experience that can leave individuals feeling perpetually drained. The struggle to find a balance between meeting the needs of children and self-care is an ongoing challenge for many parents.