In my twenties and early thirties, birthday celebrations were extravagant, high-energy events. Friends and acquaintances would fill crowded bars, and the atmosphere was electric with laughter, dancing, and perhaps a bit of reckless romance in hidden corners. While I look back on those parties with a mix of nostalgia and caution, it’s this very experience that leads me to avoid posting my birthday on Facebook.
I’m not concerned about sharing my birth year—few people do that anymore—but I don’t reveal the actual date. To my Facebook friends, my birthday is just another day in July, a time when everyone seems to be complaining about the heat and lamenting the fleeting summer days.
Those once thrilling birthday parties often morphed into sources of stress. I would send out invitations, only to dread the possibility that no one would show up. When someone declined, it would sting. Throughout the event, I’d find myself torn between enjoying the moment and worrying about those who hadn’t made it. The influx of people from all parts of my life became overwhelming, and rather than celebrating, I often felt like a party planner trying to ensure everyone was having a good time.
I understand the appeal of celebrating birthdays on Facebook. I’m not one to criticize the flood of “Happy Birthday” messages from old friends and distant relatives. It can be heartwarming to be celebrated, to receive an outpouring of well-wishes and delightful memes. However, for me, the attention that comes with these messages adds another layer of anxiety on a day that should be about joy.
It’s not merely the obligation to respond graciously to birthday greetings—though that can feel like a chore in itself. It’s the flood of memories that comes rushing back when I see names from my past. Each message can trigger reflections on childhood, school days, and various relationships—both good and bad. This introspection can turn my birthday into a deep dive into my life, which feels like too much to unpack.
So, I refrain from sharing my birthday date on Facebook. It’s not that I don’t cherish my friends or appreciate their connections; rather, I prefer to keep my day simple and free from external pressures.
Last week, on my birthday, I chose to sleep in, enjoy an iced coffee, work out, and have lunch and dinner with close family and friends. There were no parties, no gifts, and no unexpected messages from long-lost acquaintances. A few dear friends remembered and reached out, which I genuinely appreciated. I had no expectations or responsibilities—just a peaceful day spent in the present moment.
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In summary, the choice to keep my birthday private on social media stems from a desire for simplicity and peace of mind. It’s about enjoying my special day without the pressures that often accompany public celebrations.
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