Welcome to the Mom Club, a supportive community for mothers who are tired of the rivalry and judgment often present in parenting circles. Before you apply for membership, please familiarize yourself with these essential guidelines:
- No Pre-Visit Cleaning: Avoid tidying up your home prior to a visit from fellow moms. If your space resembles a magazine cover, you’re out! And if you expect us to rearrange our homes before your arrival, you’re also out.
- Refer to Gatherings as “Meetings”: When scheduling coffee, lunch, or wine time with other moms, don’t call it what it is. Instead, announce you’re attending a “very important meeting.” If you’re too straightforward about it, you may find yourself out of the club.
- Avoid Criticizing Other Moms’ Children: Even if a fellow mom is critiquing her own kid, refrain from joining in. She holds that right, but you do not. Simply nod, support her, and pour more wine.
- Keep Non-Holiday Celebrations Minimal: Holidays like Valentine’s Day or St. Patrick’s Day don’t require elaborate decorations or themed crafts. A simple adult beverage to mark the day suffices. Excessive celebrations can raise the bar too high for others, and we won’t hesitate to kick you out.
- Don’t Overcommit: It’s commendable to contribute, but try not to be the mom who does everything. Overcommitting can lead to resentment from your peers and take away from our valuable “meetings.”
- Invest in Yourself: Whether it’s a spa day or a solo outing, refer to this as “self-refinement” or “professional development.” This helps outsiders understand your need for personal time.
- Notify Fellow Members of Major Discussions: If you’ve had important conversations with your children—like discussing sex or revealing the truth about Santa—give us a heads-up. This helps us all prepare for similar discussions.
- Keep Your Obligations Private: While we can babysit occasionally, please don’t invite us to every one of your child’s events. We have our own busy lives to manage.
- No Judgment or Unsolicited Advice: Strong opinions about parenting choices? Keep them to yourself, unless someone specifically asks for your input. Everyone has their own survival strategies in this challenging parenting journey.
- Protect Fellow Members’ Images: If you regularly engage in activities like cooking or cleaning, don’t discuss them in front of others. It’s best to keep those matters private.
Are you ready to embrace these guidelines? The initiation process may be tough, and the temptation to break the rules intense, but we’d love to welcome you.
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Summary
The Mom Club provides a judgment-free zone for mothers looking to connect without the pressure of competition. Familiarizing yourself with the club’s guidelines ensures a supportive atmosphere where everyone can thrive.