Last week, my 21-year-old son, Alex, strolled into the kitchen and requested assistance in making a cup of coffee. For those of you who own a modern Keurig machine, you understand just how user-friendly they are. You simply open the lid, insert the plastic K-cup filled with coffee, select your desired cup size, and hit “Brew.” It’s that straightforward.
However, Alex is my firstborn. He is the child who benefited from having an enthusiastic young mother who was eager to prepare his clothes each night, trim the crusts off his sandwiches, and peel his apples into manageable slices. Nowadays, I find it challenging to even remember to buy apples, let alone peel them.
I stifled a chuckle when he sought help with the coffee, only to realize he was not genuinely asking for guidance. Instead, he simply wanted me to take over the task. “Alright,” I instructed, “you need to walk over to the machine and open it up.” I guided him through the steps, and soon enough, he was savoring a steaming cup of coffee.
Shortly after, his younger brother, Max, entered the kitchen and prepared himself an omelette. He skillfully heated a pan over low heat, cracked an egg into a bowl, added some egg whites from the fridge, sprayed the pan with cooking spray, and cooked his breakfast. He topped his creation with a generous amount of hot sauce and enjoyed it alongside hot chocolate made from the Keurig, all while watching his favorite show.
The contrast between my firstborn and my youngest son continually fascinates me. It’s remarkable how much the younger siblings have thrived due to the experiences paved by the oldest. My overprotective tendencies may have hindered Alex’s desire to be self-sufficient, even though he is certainly capable.
This realization struck me when I dropped him off to catch a bus for a summer internship an hour away. This role required him to don business-casual attire and exhibit adult-like behavior. Witnessing him prepare breakfast, casually pouring a bowl of cereal, took my breath away.
The week leading up to his first day was filled with a fair amount of guidance. We went shopping for suitable attire, purchased his monthly bus pass, and conducted a test run to locate a commuter parking lot. Navigating the bus schedule proved slightly challenging, but it was understandable; he hadn’t encountered this before.
The younger kids have learned so much from Alex’s experiences, from music lessons to college applications. He has set a precedent for them, demonstrating how to navigate life’s challenges.
As I watched him walk away from my car towards the crowd waiting for the bus, I felt a pang of desire to ensure he boarded the correct one. Yet, I resisted and drove off, watching his figure fade in my rearview mirror. Later, he texted me to confirm he was on the bus and en route (thumbs-up emoji). “Thank you for the ride and everything else, Mom,” he sent, accompanied by heart and love emojis. Despite our occasional disagreements, we both understand that I will always support him.
Walking the fine line between being an overbearing parent and simply offering support is tricky. I hope I am leaning toward the latter. By the time Max embarks on his journey into adulthood a decade from now, I anticipate less hand-holding as he will have observed his siblings navigate their own paths.
But I digress. This morning reminded me how grateful I am to still have a little boy. Someone who will wrap his arms around me spontaneously, belt out Maroon 5 lyrics in the shower, and sometimes forgets to use shampoo. Time flies; in the blink of an eye, you transition from handing a child a juice box to a commuter mug. It’s a sentiment echoed by many, yet when you are buried in the routine of school runs and meals, it feels never-ending. Then, suddenly, you find yourself wondering, “What just happened?”
Regardless, I look forward to picking Max up later and hearing about his adventures over a dinner I’ll prepare to celebrate his big day. Although Alex may have traded his casual skater attire for khakis and a dress shirt, he will always be my baby.
For further insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this post from our other blog. If you’re exploring options for starting a family, resources like March of Dimes can be invaluable. Additionally, Make a Mom offers comprehensive information on home insemination kits.
In summary, parenting is a delicate balance of guidance and independence. Each child’s journey is unique and shaped by their siblings’ experiences. Cherishing these moments is essential, for they grow up faster than we can imagine.