Maternal guilt. Prior to becoming a mother, I viewed it as a cliché that warranted little more than an eye roll. However, after welcoming my children into the world, it morphed into a pervasive presence that could consume me if I allowed it.
In the past, guilt would occasionally surface, but since becoming a mother, it has become a constant companion. I often find myself feeling remorseful for a variety of reasons:
- I didn’t spend enough time engaging with my children.
- I prioritized chores over playtime.
- After cleaning, I hesitate to let them have fun, fearing they’ll mess up the tidy space.
- I didn’t take them outdoors on a lovely day.
- When I did take them out, they got bug bites.
- I read more frequently with my eldest than with my younger two.
- I question my discipline style, feeling I’m either too lenient or too strict.
- I sometimes indulge in candy while hiding it from them.
- I fail to plan daily educational activities for them.
- My breastfeeding journey felt inadequate.
- I stress about my diet potentially impacting my child’s health.
- I worry they watch too much television, often using it as a babysitter.
- I occasionally leave them crying at the door when I go shopping.
- I remind myself I should feel lucky to be at home with them, as many mothers would envy my situation.
- I frequently feel I raise my voice too often.
The common advice is to eliminate maternal guilt, as it is deemed unproductive. Yet, completely shedding this feeling as a mother is nearly impossible. Therefore, I have decided to embrace my maternal guilt.
I believe that if I never felt this guilt, two scenarios might be at play:
- I’ve achieved perfection (which I know is unattainable).
- I’ve become indifferent (a state I hope to never reach).
So, instead, I choose to accept my guilt, as it allows me to recognize two vital truths:
- I am not perfect. I strive for it, but acknowledging my imperfections helps me focus on nurturing my children with love as an imperfect parent. It also teaches them not to expect flawlessness from themselves or others, fostering a healthy understanding of human nature.
- My guilt signifies that I genuinely care. If I didn’t care, I would have nothing to feel guilty about. This realization offers me relief, allowing me to recognize my commitment to their well-being.
When guilt rears its head, I will confront it, acknowledging its presence. I’ll express gratitude for reminding me of my love for my children and commit to improving one aspect of my parenting. Then, I’ll dismiss the guilt, knowing it will likely return before long.
For more insights on parenting, you might find this informative post on home insemination engaging, as well as resources from CDC on ART which provide valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, Make a Mom is an authority on related topics.
In summary, embracing maternal guilt can be a transformative experience, fostering growth in both mother and child, while reinforcing the importance of love and acceptance in the parenting journey.