Recently, I found myself in a conversation with my son about the clutter in his room. This prompted me to take on my own closet, armed with a garbage bag. As I sorted through my wardrobe, I was struck by some of the questionable choices I had made over the years—items like leopard-print halter tops and faux leather pants that had long since lost their appeal. Here are eight pieces that were once mainstays in my wardrobe but are now destined for retirement.
- High-heeled Boots: These knee-high leather creations were once my go-to for making a fashionable statement, reminiscent of a refined Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I wore them to work, outings, and first dates, hoping to impress. However, after having my second child and struggling to fit my size 8 feet into size 7 shoes, wearing heels now feels akin to a scene from a horror film. Of all the items I’m letting go, my high-heeled boots will be the hardest to part with.
- Thong Underwear: With a toddler and a kindergartner, I have enough challenges without adding discomfort to the mix. I’ve opted for comfortable briefs instead, which also save me from embarrassing moments at K-mart when my child decides to pull up my skirt.
- Miniskirts and Short Shorts: While many women can confidently wear these items, I was never one of them, and post-children, I certainly am not. The thought of the upkeep needed for such attire is exhausting.
- Earrings: Once a favorite accessory, earrings have become a rarity in my life. With two kids, finding time to accessorize is a luxury I can’t afford. Additionally, my left ear’s hole has closed up, rendering my beautiful earrings obsolete. Perhaps I’ll revisit ear piercing when my daughter is old enough, or I might just invest in clip-ons.
- Strapless Bras: I’ve disliked these undergarments since before the effects of gravity, pregnancy, and nursing transformed my body. Now, they feel more like instruments of torture than supportive wear. No stylish dress will ever entice me to wear one again.
- White Pants: I used to wear white without a care, even after Labor Day. Now, the mere thought of white pants fills me with dread, knowing the messes that come with children—markers, spills, and potty-training disasters. I won’t consider wearing white again until my kids are grown, and even then, I might think twice.
- T-shirts with Beer Logos: My six-year-old is starting to read, and I can’t have her stumbling upon words like “Heineken” or explaining the humor behind my vintage Señor Frogs shirt from a long-gone vacation. It’s time to retire these party relics.
- Maternity Clothes: While I have a few maternity dresses I still try to pass off as trendy, most of my maternity wear just sits, challenging me to acknowledge my family planning is complete. The thought of discarding these items is daunting, but I know it’s time to reclaim my closet space.
A lot has changed over the years, including my wardrobe. It’s time for my closet to reflect the mature, semi-showered woman I am today, allowing me to let go of pieces that no longer serve me. However, I might just hold onto those faux leather pants for a fun night out or unexpected adventures.
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In summary, as a mother, it’s essential to adapt and evolve my wardrobe to fit my current lifestyle. These eight items represent a past that no longer aligns with my present, allowing me to embrace the practical and comfortable choices that suit my role as a parent.