“Wow, she’s simply adorable!”
There’s no need for me to divert my gaze from the cereal box in front of me to identify which of my three daughters is being referenced.
“Where does that stunning strawberry hair come from? And those big, expressive brown eyes…” The woman’s voice trails off, captivated by my daughter’s eye-catching features.
“Actually, red hair is a recessive trait, so my husband and I must have it somewhere in our family tree,” I reply politely, although I’ve had this same exchange at least once before in the store today. I glance at my other two daughters, who have their father’s caramel hair and lighter eyes. While they share our characteristics, my middle daughter possesses a cherubic charm that makes her look almost too perfect to be real.
From the moment she entered the world, compliments about her appearance began pouring in—from nurses in the hospital to strangers on the street. The remarks have persisted through the years.
Everywhere we venture, we hear comments like:
- “She’s just… I’ve never seen a baby so flawless!”
- “She should be on the cover of a magazine!”
- “Out of your three girls, she’s the cutest—and she’s aware of it.”
While I adore all my daughters, there’s no denying that the attention my middle daughter garners is extraordinary. All three of my girls have the same educators, yet my middle child enjoys leniency that her siblings do not. People often assume she has a sweet personality simply because of her looks. “What a little darling! And she’s so bright!” they exclaim, even as she engages in less-than-adorable behaviors during church.
At events I attend, she is frequently approached by PR representatives eager to include her in promotional photographs. This is a new experience for me—the presence of a face that can stop passersby in their tracks.
As comedian Amy Poehler has mentioned, my true value lies in my personality. In my single days, I often positioned myself near the restrooms to catch free drinks from friends before swooping in as the conversationalist to divert attention from overly eager suitors.
While being less conventionally attractive has its advantages—like fostering a vibrant personality and avoiding unwanted teenage pregnancy announcements—it’s clear that life tends to be more straightforward for those who are deemed beautiful. An article from Business Insider revealed a study indicating that attractive job candidates were 24% more likely to receive callbacks than their less attractive counterparts.
However, this situation has its complications for my daughter. I’ve encountered individuals who have jokingly offered to buy her (while I know it was meant lightheartedly, I might contemplate an offer on a bad day) and requests for photos (definitely a hard pass). On occasion, I’ve even noticed people discreetly filming her, which raises my protective instincts.
Navigating my parenting role in this context is challenging. I appreciate the compliments but want to ensure my daughter doesn’t become arrogant or, even worse, create insecurities for her sisters. Should I downplay it? “Oh, she’s cute, but I’ve seen better.” Should I elevate my other daughters? “Look at these healthy gums!”
For now, I’ll continue to smile, express gratitude, and explain the basics of genetics to curious strangers. One day, however, I plan to teach my daughters how to leverage teamwork for free drinks at social events.
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Summary
Parenting a child who draws more attention due to her beauty can be a delicate balance. While it’s essential to appreciate her unique qualities, it’s equally important to nurture her siblings’ self-esteem. The dynamics of beauty in childhood can influence social interactions and perceptions, making it crucial for parents to navigate these waters thoughtfully.