Among the many truths about parenting, perhaps the most accurate for my family is this: raising children is a gamble. My partner and I have explored various popular parenting philosophies. We embraced the natural parenting approach, engaged in co-sleeping, and attempted to minimize the use of the word “no.” We even experimented with disciplinary methods like spanking, time-outs, and a reward system that included toys and treats for positive behavior.
However, fatigue has set in. Our children often unite against us. Consequently, we abandoned parenting tactics that only left us feeling miserable. We don’t resort to spanking, but we do express frustration through colorful language (occasionally… okay, frequently), not directed at the kids but rather in reaction to their antics. If one were to be within earshot of our home between 2:30 PM and 7:30 PM, it would not be unreasonable to suspect I might be quite fervently religious.
My four-year-old son is an exceptionally articulate little character. And why shouldn’t he be? His parents speak to him like a person, not a pet. By the age of two, he could discern the difference between “May I?” and “Can I?” His impressive vocabulary has garnered admiration from friends, family, and even our pediatrician. We take great pride in this.
So, you can imagine my delight when my young linguist shared a new rendition of his favorite knock-knock joke with me—right in front of Grandma:
Four-Year-Old: “Knock-knock”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Four-Year-Old: “Bitch!”
Me: “Whaaaaa?!”
Four-Year-Old: “You didn’t say knock-knock!”
Me: (struggling to contain both shock and laughter, while also dying of curiosity) “Uh, Bitch, erm…who?”
Four-Year-Old: “Bitch been knocking out here all day!”
Me: (a mix of horror and amusement)
The original joke he had memorized (and recited numerous times) went like this:
Four-Year-Old: “Knock-knock”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Four-Year-Old: “Ben”
Me: “Ben who?”
Four-Year-Old: “Ben knocking out here all day!”
The wave of parental embarrassment that followed this demonstration of verbal skill was unprecedented. I could sense Grandma’s bewilderment regarding our household dynamics. A flurry of awkward explanations ensued.
Later, once we returned home and the initial embarrassment faded, I shared the joke with my partner, and we erupted in laughter. It also served as a crucial parenting lesson about the importance of moderating our language around the children. We still express ourselves freely, but we make sure to do so after the kids are in bed, during our designated wine and beer hour.
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In conclusion, navigating the world of parenting, especially regarding language and humor, can present unique challenges. It’s essential to maintain a balance that promotes healthy communication while also allowing for laughter.