If you could peer inside my uterus, you’d likely see it painted a shade of blue. Why? Because this maternal factory has produced solely boys—four to be exact. This twist of fate feels almost cosmic, especially since I once reveled in all things feminine: makeup, stylish footwear, and fruity cocktails. Now, however, I find myself navigating the world of rough-and-tumble boys, which, while challenging, doesn’t mean I have to abandon my girly side. In fact, holding onto bits of that is crucial for my sanity. So for those expecting a son, know someone who is, or are already in the early stages of boyhood parenting, here are ten essential guidelines to help you thrive as a mom of boys.
1. Embrace Bath Time
And by “bath time,” I’m not referring to your serene moment of self-care in a fragrant bubble bath. You need to love giving baths to your boys, as they require them frequently. Prepare for splashes, a persistent wet-dog odor, and an endless supply of dirty towels. Once they graduate to showers, your reminders about using soap will turn into a daily mantra. (Tip: Skip the expensive body wash.)
2. Find Humor in Farts
Boys have a unique affinity for toilet humor, particularly farts. If you can join in on the laughter, it will reduce your stress levels. However, establish the right times and places for this humor—like not during church or family dinners. Even if you don’t share their enthusiasm for flatulence, tolerance is key; it’s going to be a frequent topic of laughter.
3. Prepare for Toilet Battles
From the moment you learn you’re having a boy, you might find yourself on a mission to teach him proper toilet etiquette, such as putting the seat down. Despite your best efforts, expect chaos: one son might remember to flush but forget to close the lid, while another leaves toilet paper in questionable places. The struggle is real, and you will find yourself reminding them endlessly about aiming, flushing, and maintaining cleanliness.
4. Rethink Safety Standards
Don’t call child protective services just yet! I’m not suggesting you abandon safety measures. However, think twice about being overly cautious. Boys are inherently adventurous—climbing, jumping, and exploring at every turn. They’ll taste anything from dirt to glue, and if you have multiple boys, they might engage in wrestling matches that could lead to a few bumps and bruises. Stock up on Band-Aids and let them be a little wild.
5. Expect Drama
Contrary to popular belief, boys can be just as dramatic as girls. You might encounter plenty of eye-rolling and outbursts over seemingly trivial matters like video game rankings. Don’t be fooled; boys can be just as expressive and emotional, if not more so, than their female counterparts.
6. Brace for Mess
It’s inevitable: your home will look like a tornado has passed through it. Boys have a knack for tracking mud, spilling food, and leaving their mark on walls and carpets. You may feel like you spend your life cleaning up after them, especially when their friends join in on the chaos.
7. Keep Food Stocked
When they’re young, you might think your boys are light eaters, but brace yourself for the ravenous appetites that emerge as they grow. You’ll find yourself replenishing snacks and meals constantly as they devour everything in sight. It’s wise to stay stocked up, or you’ll find yourself in a constant state of grocery shopping.
8. Prepare for Denim Destruction
If you think jeans are durable, think again. Boys can ruin them at astonishing rates, whether through play or simple wear-and-tear. Expect to spend a significant amount on replacements, as those sturdy fabrics often don’t stand a chance against their antics.
9. Get Comfortable with Nudity
Boys have a tendency to shed their clothing as soon as they enter the home. From running around in their underwear to some days going completely without, nudity becomes a common theme. You’ll need to adjust your expectations when it comes to attire.
10. Accept “The Grab”
This is a reality every mom of boys must face: frequent, often absent-minded grabbing of their anatomy. This behavior starts early and doesn’t really fade. You might find yourself saying things you never thought you would, like “Please stop playing with that at the dinner table.” Eventually, it becomes just another part of daily life.
For those navigating the journey of motherhood with boys, these guidelines can help you prepare for the unique challenges and joys that come your way. To learn more about preparing for parenthood, check out this insightful article on home insemination.
In summary, raising boys comes with its own set of trials and triumphs. Embrace the messiness, the humor, and the unexpected moments, and you’ll find joy amidst the chaos. For additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit IVF Babble and consider exploring fertility supplements at Make a Mom.