I consider myself fortunate to have a husband who excels as a father. His parenting style is not only beneficial for me but also incredibly advantageous for our children, primarily because he is likely to outlive me. You might wonder why; let me elaborate.
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He Doesn’t Accumulate Items
Every day, our children hand me a plethora of items to hold—half-eaten popsicles, small toys from that germ-laden venue known as Chuck E. Cheese, or my son’s current fascination: random rubber bands gathered from the ground. This constant exchange contributes to my perpetual struggle with colds, despite my diligent vitamin intake. In fact, my doctor noted I was the only patient over the age of five who was diagnosed with double pink eye in 2023. -
Selective Hearing
While he isn’t genuinely deaf, he has mastered the art of selective hearing. When a child yells, “Mom, Dad, can you get me a glass of water?”, it’s always I who responds, leading our kids to call only for me over time. This means my husband is spared the incessant echoes of “DAAAD.” Meanwhile, I can foresee myself as the elderly woman at the bus stop, muttering “MomMomMomMommyMommyMammaMamaMomMomMOMMY!!!” in a few decades. -
Deep Sleep
This is possibly linked to his selective hearing. At night, I am acutely aware of every cough, sigh, and noise from our children, even from another floor. My husband, however, sleeps soundly, assured that I will manage everything from extra blanket requests to emergencies, such as the time I had to wake him to inform him that our daughter required a trip to the ER for severe jaw pain. -
Emergency Contact Status
As the primary emergency contact for our children’s school, I receive all the calls—ranging from routine inquiries about pickups to the alarming “This is the school nurse…” When that number appears on my phone, I experience immediate anxiety, leading to an urgent need for medical assistance myself. -
Strategic Division of Responsibilities
In our arrangement, he skillfully avoided the more challenging parenting tasks. Somehow, I ended up with the trifecta of sunscreen application, nail clipping, and supervising thank-you notes. The emotional fallout from these responsibilities could fill a reservoir, and frankly, the kids dread them as well. -
Understanding Their Independence
He recognizes that our kids possess opposable thumbs and can reach most kitchen counters. They can effectively make themselves a sandwich when hungry, brush their teeth when prompted, and wait a few minutes for assistance in retrieving batteries for the remote. This contrasts sharply with my tendency to micromanage their activities. I admire this quality in him and realize that adopting a similar mindset might enhance my longevity, allowing me to become that quirky old lady at the bus stop.
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In summary, my husband’s lifestyle and parenting choices contribute to his likely longevity compared to mine. From his selective hearing to his ability to sleep soundly, he navigates fatherhood with a level of ease that I find enviable. Perhaps by embracing some of his strategies, I might extend my own lifespan and avoid future meltdowns.