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Many people appear to be exceptional parents until they actually step into the role themselves. We often enter motherhood with high hopes and plans, yet about 86% of those expectations vanish within the first year of parenting.
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As a mother, you will inevitably find yourself doing countless things that you promised you would never do. It’s simply part of the experience.
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Regardless of your best intentions, you may occasionally hear your mother’s phrases escaping your lips. It’s an intriguing realization that can be quite disconcerting.
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Your children will surprise you in ways you never thought possible. They can embarrass you, frustrate you, and even scare you, often behaving in ways that seem completely foreign to your own upbringing.
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Children are remarkably frank. It’s best to avoid showing them your naked body, as they tend to point and giggle without hesitation.
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Conversely, kids are also exceptionally accepting. They embrace their parents, flaws and all, convinced that we possess superhuman abilities.
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The adage “The days are long, but the years are short” rings true. We often get bogged down in daily routines, only to realize that our little ones have grown taller, sprouted hair in unexpected places, and made us nostalgic for simpler times.
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The temperament of your child is largely predetermined; you have little to do with it. Having an “easy” child is just as much of a lottery as having a “challenging” one. Any parent with multiple children can attest to this variability.
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The only area in which you can claim true expertise is in understanding your own children—not anyone else’s.
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Most mothers are simply attempting to guide their little ones into becoming well-mannered, decent adults. There’s no singular correct route to achieving that goal. Different choices made by other mothers shouldn’t be seen as critiques of your own parenting style; they often have little to do with you.
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In reality, few people care as deeply about your children’s achievements as you do. It’s a hard truth to accept.
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One of a mother’s greatest challenges is the judgment from other mothers, closely followed by the pressure we put on ourselves. This harsh self-criticism can overshadow the joys of motherhood. We often become so consumed with doing everything right that we forget to extend kindness to both ourselves and others. Many mothers are likely as overwhelmed and anxious as you are.
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No one has parenting completely figured out. This is why new parenting books continue to flood the market, and why trends shift every few years. The irony is that we keep purchasing these books and trying new methods, hoping to find the “correct” approach, but in reality, there is no singular right way to parent.
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It’s a universal truth that all parents will make mistakes. Every parent, past or present, has faltered at some point. Children will inevitably hold their parents accountable for their emotional baggage. However, kids tend to be quite resilient; unless the mistakes are severe or abusive, it’s unlikely they will lead to severe issues in adulthood.
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There is never a moment when you can fully relax, believing you have done your job as a mother successfully. Motherhood is an ongoing journey. Regardless of how grown up your children appear, they will always hold a special place in your heart, and your concern for their well-being will never cease.
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In summary, motherhood is a complex and often unpredictable journey filled with lessons and surprises. Embracing both the challenges and joys will help navigate this rewarding yet demanding path.