Since Christmas, I have not consumed any alcoholic beverages. Prior to that, my last drink was on Halloween, and even before that, it was during the previous summer. With each passing month, the idea of alcohol increasingly feels like a toxin to my system. I have completely given it up.
My friends who enjoy a glass of wine might be surprised. (Let’s be kind; they’re not heavy drinkers.) In high school, I was often a bystander at parties as my peers indulged. The initial excitement would quickly spiral into emotional breakdowns, fights, and unfortunate incidents of vomiting in laundry machines, leaving the unsuspecting parents aghast upon their return.
Given these experiences, I was never drawn to drinking. My classmates often questioned my decision to abstain. Why was I even at the party if I wasn’t drinking? Was I somehow better than them? As my senior year progressed, curiosity and peer pressure eventually led me to join the drinking crowd, which I did with fervor in my early twenties—complete with my own share of regrettable nights.
I can recount countless escapades fueled by alcohol: cheekily flashing bartenders for free drinks, swimming in alligator-infested waters after dark, and securing a prime spot at a strip club on Bourbon Street. However, I also witnessed alcohol’s darker side, especially through two alcoholic partners. I grappled with codependency, realizing that it could consume me if I didn’t break free.
With a family history of alcoholism, I consider myself fortunate not to have faced more severe consequences from my early experiences with alcohol. Once I found my footing in adulthood, I distanced myself from the party scene, moderating my drinking to socially acceptable levels. My consumption naturally decreased during pregnancy and while nursing. For years, I enjoyed an occasional glass of wine, using it to unwind with neighbors or celebrate small victories in parenthood.
About two years ago, I began my writing journey, often working late into the night while my children slept. I quickly discovered that alcohol impaired my ability to write effectively and left me too tired to function after long days. Thus, I replaced my evening glass of wine with pouring my thoughts into a computer. Eventually, I lost my taste for wine and the feelings that accompanied it.
I’ve come to realize that I no longer enjoy intentionally impairing myself. Life can feel overwhelming enough without adding alcohol into the mix. I’ve also found that having a few drinks can lead to verbal missteps, which is counterproductive to my goal of leaving a positive impression on others.
Now, just the sight of a wine list can trigger a headache, and I have zero interest in spending any more days feeling crummy due to my choices. Eliminating alcohol has significantly improved my emotional stability (although I still contend with the challenges of PMS). Surprisingly, I’ve found that relaxing without a drink is just as effective and headache-free.
It has been liberating to embrace my social awkwardness without relying on alcohol to ease my discomfort. While peer pressure still exists at thirty-five, it manifests differently. At social gatherings, a drink is often seen as a standard accessory, and without one, I find myself being offered drinks repeatedly. When I politely decline, it sometimes catches people off guard. Friends often think I’m joking when I mention that my drink is non-alcoholic. However, I no longer feel the need to conform to others’ expectations.
The culture of “mommy needs a drink” is prevalent, often exaggerated for comedic effect. Conversely, those who abstain for religious reasons or due to alcoholism are widely respected. But what about those like me, who simply prefer a lifestyle free from alcohol? Are there others who feel similarly?
For further insights into the journey of parenthood, visit our other blog post here. If you’re considering home insemination, Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit is a fantastic resource. Additionally, check out this informative piece on the IVF process for more information on pregnancy and insemination.
In summary, embracing a sober lifestyle can lead to newfound clarity and confidence. While social pressures persist, prioritizing your well-being over societal expectations can be empowering. Join the conversation and discover a supportive community that values various parenting journeys.