Before embracing motherhood, I held the belief that mothers inherently knew how to navigate the challenges of parenting. After all, they have spent considerable time with their children, so surely they must understand their preferences—like whether their child loves or loathes footed pajamas. I certainly thought my 3-year-old adored them, so I bought her five pairs for Christmas. However, it turns out she only wants to wear infant pajamas that keep her “feet from feeling hot,” which apparently is a major life crisis for her.
The biggest revelation? The idea that moms have it all figured out is a myth. We’re all just trying to get by, improvising as we go along. Sure, past experiences may inform us of our kids’ preferences, such as which lullabies are soothing, but there’s a good chance we’ll be completely wrong. Enter the tantrum.
Common Misconceptions About Parenting Debunked
- We have a plan. Honestly, I’m often just throwing clothes, food, and affection into the air like confetti, hoping something sticks. Do you have all the answers?
- We select our kids’ outfits. I lost that battle when my daughter turned two and discovered tutus, and again when Elsa became a cultural phenomenon.
- Our lives revolve around our children. While I cherish my kids, I’m also striving to carve out a life that doesn’t solely focus on them.
- A messy child is a reflection of poor parenting. My three-year-old creates messes faster than I can clean them. I’m frequently astonished by the state of her face after a meal.
- We know our kids’ wants and needs. My children are like moving targets. One day they want syrup in a bowl, and the next, I’m ruining their existence by offering it.
- We understand their dietary preferences. One day they devour roasted cauliflower like it’s candy, and the next, they declare noodles to be revolting. I just keep cooking, praying no one suffers from a food allergy, as yogurt is our only consistent favorite.
- We master discipline. My current methods include hiding toys on high shelves and time-outs. Are these effective? I have no idea.
- We shield our kids from all danger. While this is true for significant threats, I believe in allowing them to navigate some challenges independently, especially on the playground.
- We excel at multitasking. Some days I feel like a superhero, but often I can only focus on one task at a time. Otherwise, chaos reigns, and dinner turns into a midnight snack of fruit snacks.
- Having children fulfills our adult aspirations. If my dreams involved being a professional booger extractor, then yes, they’ve been realized. But I also have other ambitions—like writing and finding a moment to reflect on my dreams.
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In summary, the notion that mothers have everything under control is simply not true. We are all navigating the uncertainties of parenting with varying degrees of success and failure, and often, we are just trying to make it through the day.