In the realm of parenthood, one of the first judgments we often make about fellow parents involves the names they choose for their children. A name is our initial introduction to an individual; it shapes their identity in the eyes of the world. Parents often invest considerable time—sometimes years—selecting the ideal name, and reactions can vary from approval to disapproval or even ridicule from those who feel compelled to critique.
For those intrigued by baby names, the plethora of lists and articles available provides ample material for discussion. The rankings of popular names often invite snarky comments about the trend-following tendencies of others. It gives us insight into the names we might encounter in our children’s classrooms and friend circles. If you haven’t met a Sophia yet, chances are you will soon—it’s practically a given that everyone knows a Sophia.
Conversely, the lists showcasing the most unusual names of the year allow us to scoff at those who believe their children will flourish with uniquely strange names. “Cheese”? Seriously? Even for a cheese enthusiast, it’s hard to fathom that eight families genuinely chose that name for their child.
Before becoming a parent, I envisioned myself selecting an unconventional name for my child. Having grown up as a Jennifer—one of many in my high school—I didn’t want to replicate what I perceived as my parents’ mistake. Yet here I am, a Jennifer who named her son one of the most common names for boys born in 2009. After some adjustment, I’ve come to appreciate the choice. Here’s my reasoning:
When it was time to name my son, I aimed for a name that struck a balance: not too unique, yet not overly trendy either. It was important to me that it didn’t rhyme with “Aiden” or begin with a K. More than anything, my husband and I had a straightforward criterion: the name needed to be easily spelled and pronounced. This preference stemmed from witnessing my mother’s constant struggles with her name, Ileene, which is both uncommon and has a confusing spelling. She often finds herself spelling it out for others, even in today’s digital age.
Thus, we chose “Ethan” for our firstborn. Like my husband, Matthew, who has a widely recognized name, we unintentionally picked a name that ranks fifth in popularity for boys born that year. I became aware of its prevalence when Ethan attended summer camp and, in a group of 14, there were two boys named Ethan, one boy named Eli, and one girl named Etta. While Eli and Etta might be less common, it was amusing to see four names so closely related. Initially, I felt I had erred in naming him.
However, I soon realized that none of the kids were concerned about their names. My son became known as Ethan B. while the girl Etta was simply called Girl Etta. Each child adopted their own nickname, and my Ethan decided he wanted to be called Ethan the Explorer, which added a delightful twist to his identity.
This experience has led me to reconsider my previous biases against popular names. After all, what is the actual value of giving your child a bizarre name? Even names that seem entirely original often have others sharing them. For instance, even “Cheese,” as quirky as it is, isn’t unique—eight families believed they were bestowing an original name, only to find they weren’t alone.
Does a distinctive name truly signify a child’s uniqueness? Regardless of whether names like Oliver, Emma, Monday, or Atlas are chosen, each child possesses their own individuality. A child’s identity is not defined by their name alone, be it Jacob, Jaden, or even Jam. Which one is more likely to face teasing? Which one will spend their life correcting others on spelling?
There’s no need to complicate matters with an eccentric name to assert your child’s individuality. Their uniqueness is inherent to who they are, with the exception of those eight kids named Cheese—those kids might just be the most mundane of the bunch.
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In summary, the choice of a name for your child is a significant decision that reflects both personal values and societal norms. While unique names may seem appealing, common names can foster a sense of belonging and ease in social settings. Ultimately, what truly matters is the individuality each child brings into the world, independent of their name.