While I won’t be using your actual name just yet—partly due to my superstitious nature regarding naming unborn children and partly because your sibling may have the final say (in which case, we might be addressing you as “Captain Awesome”). With your anticipated arrival less than two months away, it’s time for you to get acquainted with your soon-to-be family and prepare for life beyond the womb. I won’t sugarcoat it: Your older sibling has taken a toll on our energy and patience, so your success will hinge on your ability to keep things low-key (and clean!).
ABOUT US:
Mom:
I am the one who has been your cozy home for the past 30 weeks. You might find me more appealing on the outside, although I might not look my best upon our initial meeting. Let’s be honest, you probably won’t either.
Dad:
He’s the one who won’t be providing you with milk. Don’t hold that against him; he’s actually pretty great. He enjoys wrestling and excels at bringing stories to life with fun voices. Just a heads-up: He’s not as easily swayed as I am.
Big Brother:
He’s the one who arrived first, the one whose belongings you will inherit, and the one who will both protect you in the world and tease you at home. He’s also the one you’ll be compared to, though we’ll strive to avoid doing so in a way that leaves lasting psychological scars. (We may occasionally joke about saying things like, “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” Our humor can be sharp—you might want to get used to it!)
The Furry One:
She was displeased when your brother joined us, but after two and a half years, she has grown to tolerate him—an evolution that’s truly a sight to behold. I’m uncertain how she’ll react to a second baby, so you might want to bring some treats as a peace offering.
ACCOMMODATIONS:
Initially, you’ll be sharing a room with your dad and me, but once you’re ready, you’ll move into your own space. Your crib has a simple modern design, crafted from pre-chewed wood, and the accompanying changing table is stocked with cute, pre-stained baby clothes.
OUR HOURS:
7 a.m. to 8 p.m. As a newcomer, we will provide late-night, middle-of-the-night, and early-morning feedings and care as needed. However, we highly recommend you adapt to our schedule as soon as possible. I lacked the willpower to sleep train your brother, but I’m ready to give it a shot this time around (See the first entry under ‘Suggested Reading’).
SUGGESTED READING:
- Sleeping Through the Night: The Sooner You Do It, the More Your Parents Will Appreciate You
- Potty Training for Fetuses
- Mommy Is Fun Too
BEING A SECOND CHILD – WHAT TO EXPECT:
Here’s the deal: You won’t have a ton of brand-new things, but honestly, new stuff is overrated, and it will take a while before you even notice the difference. Your nursery lacks a theme; I haven’t spent countless hours dreaming about your arrival because I’ve been too busy caring for your brother. This doesn’t mean we’re not thrilled to welcome you; it’s just a quieter, more grounded excitement.
Remember, being the firstborn isn’t always ideal. The first child receives ample attention and new items, but they also often suffer from First Pancake Syndrome—sometimes a bit misshapen and either undercooked or overdone. Just look at your dad and me: I’m the eldest of three, and I need heavy sedation to fly on a plane. Your dad is the youngest of three, and he rides motorcycles and says, “It is what it is.”
In summary, we’re bound to make mistakes with you and your brother despite our best intentions. However, you will be loved unconditionally, as long as you follow our instructions.
Looking forward to meeting you soon!
Warm regards,
Mom
For more insights on home insemination, check out this resource on IUI success rates. And if you’re interested in enhancing fertility, visit these supplements. For a deeper dive into home insemination, explore this informative post.