As a child, I often referred to my father by his first name, Mark. Growing up in a blended family where my mother had lost her first partner, I mimicked my older sibling’s behavior, which led to my dad being known as Mark to me. This familiarity felt natural; during one family news session, upon hearing a story about a lost child, I confidently remarked, “Don’t worry, her Mark will find her.”
Throughout my childhood, it was common for me to use the first names of adults. My godparents were Lisa and John, and the neighbor was simply Sarah. Even my dad’s friend had a nickname, Sparky, which I used without hesitation.
However, if you consult Lisa Thompson at the Daily Gazette, she would argue that my actions were disrespectful, suggesting that parents should enforce the traditional Mr./Mrs. Lastname structure. She posits that this shift away from formal titles signifies a disturbing trend toward diminishing respect for authority figures.
From my observations working in daycares and volunteering at schools, I can confidently say that children who addressed me by my first name still understood the importance of respect and authority. They did not seem confused about the hierarchy of adulthood. I, too, don’t believe that turning 18 magically elevates one’s status in life. There are many days I feel like I’m just scraping by as an “adult.”
I’m also hesitant to enforce a rigid divide between children and adults. I want my kids to respect their elders, yet I also encourage them to communicate openly. As they grow older and I inevitably become less “cool,” I hope they will have trustworthy adults in their lives who can guide them through difficult conversations. Many of us recall the awkwardness of discussing sensitive topics with our parents, often leaving us to seek information from peers or unreliable sources online.
On the flip side, it’s important for children to recognize that adults are not infallible. We can be wrong, lack empathy, or even exhibit harmful behaviors. Age does not inherently dictate a person’s worthiness or authority.
While Lisa does assert that respect must be earned, she emphasizes that using formal titles helps establish respectful relationships. However, I believe that respect should not be a one-sided expectation, especially from the younger party involved.
Moreover, despite the past generations’ emphasis on formal titles, current society struggles with respecting our elders. Data from the Brookings Institute reveals a severe shortage of qualified healthcare workers for elder care, with many in the field earning below the poverty line. Additionally, the National Center on Elder Abuse estimates that millions of elderly Americans suffer abuse or financial exploitation each year.
In conclusion, while you can encourage children to address you however you prefer, let’s not overlook the fact that first-name usage has been common throughout history. The notion that modern practices are eroding respect for elders is an oversimplification of a complex issue.
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Summary
The question of whether children should address adults by their first names is nuanced. While some advocate for traditional titles to foster respect, many believe that familiarity can enhance communication. Building trustworthy relationships between children and adults is crucial, allowing open dialogues about important life topics while recognizing that respect is a mutual endeavor.