When welcoming a new baby into your life, unsolicited advice is often abundant. While some guidance can be genuinely beneficial—especially when paired with a thoughtful gesture—much of it can be unhelpful or unrealistic. Here are six pieces of advice that many new mothers find frustrating or irrelevant.
- “Cherish every moment.” This phrase can be particularly aggravating to new moms. It implies that every second of motherhood should be blissful, but that’s far from reality. Many new mothers experience exhaustion, discomfort, and overwhelming responsibility. The constant demands of a newborn can overshadow the joy, leading to guilt for not enjoying every single moment. It’s important to remember that the advice often stems from the speaker’s own regrets about not appreciating the tougher times.
- “Make time for yourself.” This well-meaning suggestion often leaves new moms scratching their heads. When you’re caring for a newborn around the clock, finding even a few moments for personal care can feel impossible. Unless someone offers to step in and help, this advice can feel more like an insult than a comfort.
- “Don’t feel guilty…” Guilt is a common companion for new mothers. Rather than dismissing these feelings, a more supportive approach would be to acknowledge that it’s perfectly normal to struggle with balancing responsibilities and self-care. Reminding mothers that it’s okay to feel out of sorts can be much more reassuring than insisting they shouldn’t feel guilty at all.
- “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” This is often touted as the holy grail of parenting advice, but the reality is that newborns tend to sleep in short bursts, which makes it difficult to catch up on rest. New mothers often find themselves wide awake, trying to accomplish tasks rather than sleeping, leading to frustration rather than relief.
- “If you stay calm, your baby will too.” While it’s true that babies can sense their caregiver’s emotions, this advice oversimplifies the situation. Not all infants respond to calmness, and some may continue to be fussy regardless of the parent’s demeanor. It’s unrealistic to assume that a mother’s calm presence will guarantee a peaceful baby.
- “Just trust your instincts.” Although this can be sound advice in some contexts, many new mothers feel overwhelmed and lack confidence in their parenting decisions. Instead of expecting mothers to have all the answers, it would be more beneficial to offer support and encouragement, letting them know it’s okay to seek help and ask questions.
For the sake of new mothers everywhere, let’s steer clear of these clichés. Instead, let’s offer real support, such as taking a moment to help out, which can make a world of difference.
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Summary
New mothers often encounter well-meaning but impractical advice that can lead to feelings of guilt and frustration. Instead of offering clichéd guidance, it’s crucial to provide genuine support and understanding, recognizing that the journey of motherhood is complex and challenging.