- You share “TGIF!” on social media and have exciting weekend plans.
- You enjoy a slice of chocolate cake at the table, savoring it like a refined individual.
- You reach into your bag and retrieve what you need on the first attempt.
- You feel sympathy for those who drive family-oriented vehicles.
- You sleep in past 7:30 AM on a Saturday.
- You close the bathroom door and it stays shut throughout your visit.
- You can accurately identify the stains on your clothing.
- And these stains actually bother you.
- You’ve never engaged in a deep discussion about bodily functions.
- You prefer your coffee hot and manage to drink it that way.
- You don’t instinctively tense your muscles when you need to urinate.
- You anticipate a celebration for your birthday.
- You’ve never sanitized your home using only baby wipes.
- You’ve kept up with your friends through meaningful phone calls.
- A solo grocery trip on a Saturday night doesn’t seem sad to you.
- You get a paper cut and cover it with a basic, skin-toned bandage.
- You assume that stray piece of food on the floor is just that—food.
- Your showers are meant for relaxation, not just hygiene.
- Your radio is tuned to stations that play your favorite music.
- You take a sick day when you are genuinely unwell.
- You don’t hesitate to buy new clothing or accessories for yourself.
- You exit stores like Target with fewer than ten items.
- You return from vacations feeling refreshed and invigorated.
- You express annoyance when your mother wants to see you too often.
- You scoff at other parents and think, “I would never…”
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In summary, this list humorously highlights the contrasts between the experiences of parents and non-parents, showcasing the unique challenges and lifestyle changes that come with parenting responsibilities. Whether you’re navigating through the journey of parenthood or simply reflecting on the differences, these observations resonate with many.