It’s time to talk about why mothers truly deserve a significant pay increase. After carefully contemplating the various roles we fulfill as parents, I’ve concluded that our contributions are worth far more than the underwhelming figures often suggested online.
Sure, some may argue that professional caregivers perform similar tasks to those we undertake as parents. But let’s break it down. Personal chef? Absolutely, that’s me. Personal assistant, errand runner, and shopper? Without a doubt. My local stores recognize me by name.
As for cleaning services? While I might not pass a professional standard, the love of my spouse keeps me in a job that others might not hire me for. When it comes to home repairs, I’ve learned the hard way that I’m not cut out for electrical work. However, when it involves retrieving toys from toilets or unclogging drains, I step up to the plate—thanks, Google.
But let’s move beyond these regular responsibilities. I’m discussing the more specialized roles that require expert skills and often come with hefty fees.
During my parenting journey, I’ve had to manage some truly messy situations, including my children’s accidents. Home healthcare professionals receive an average of $27 an hour for their work; I estimate I’ve spent over 100 hours in similar circumstances, which equates to a staggering $2,700 a year dedicated to catching messes. And honestly, I believe that rate should be higher, perhaps with a complimentary HazMat suit or a lifetime supply of sanitizing gel.
I frequently find myself in the position of “Bad Cop,” meting out discipline and enforcing rules, a role that has only grown more complex as my children have aged. Do you know who else gets paid for this? Dominatrixes, who can earn $150 to $300 an hour for doing the very same thing. Meanwhile, I carry out these duties for free, which adds up to a missing salary of about $164,250 for managing behavior.
I’ve experienced some truly unsettling moments as well. When hired professionals are called to tackle hazardous home issues like mold, the fees can reach $500 or more. After all, I’ve had to deal with some rather unsanitary situations involving bodily fluids, and I think I’d be justified in charging for that, too.
Think about it: every time I’ve had to catch vomit, I could argue that my hands deserve compensation. New York City cab drivers levy a $50 cleaning fee for a single incident; I should be entitled to the same for each time I’ve had to manage such messes.
Bath time is another arena where I should be recognized. With slippery surfaces and wiggly toddlers, I navigate a daily high-stakes situation that could easily end in disaster. Professionals in similar roles earn around $72,000 a year, which seems reasonable for the countless baths I’ve administered.
I constantly assess potential dangers in our home, a task typically charged at $75 an hour for professional babyproofers. That adds up significantly when you consider the fact that safety is my 24/7 job.
Hotels impose cleaning fees for minor infractions. If I were to count the number of times I’ve had to manage chaos in my home, I’d expect a similar rate for my efforts.
What about our vehicles? I rarely get around to cleaning mine more than a couple of times a month, yet rental companies charge steep fees for messes. So, if I were to calculate the cleaning fees based on my efforts, it would be quite significant.
In summary, the myriad of specialized services and duties I perform as a mother far surpasses any nominal acknowledgment I might receive. While the affection from my children is invaluable, it’s about time that we recognize and compensate mothers appropriately for their hard work.
For more information on home insemination and pregnancy, consider checking out this excellent resource from March of Dimes. You can also find out more about at-home insemination kits here.