As I reflect on the impending conclusion of my maternity leave, I find myself grappling with a level of sadness that rivals only the disappointment of watching the same tear-jerking film on repeat or stepping on the scale after an indulgent dining experience. Over the past several months, I have forged an irreplaceable bond with my second child, nurturing him through his early milestones, sharing in giggles, and supporting him through tears. Let’s not forget the meaningful connection I’ve established with my couch and streaming services during this time, either.
Despite my affection for my profession, the thought of returning to full-time work weighs heavily on me. It seems that others, oblivious to my feelings, have taken to reminding me of my return date. I sometimes wish they would approach this topic with the same sensitivity as discussions about politics or religion—best left undisturbed in casual conversation. Unfortunately, I’ve come to realize that such consideration is unlikely. The well-meaning but misguided comments from those around me serve only to highlight the need for more compassion towards a postpartum woman experiencing a whirlwind of emotions.
Comments to Avoid When Engaging with a Mother Preparing to Return to Work
“Do you have to go back to work?”
Returning to work feels akin to the necessity of shaving my legs—it’s not a legal requirement, but it’s certainly a reality I must face to avoid more significant consequences. It’s not ideal, but please don’t complicate an already sensitive situation by implying I have a choice in the matter.
“Who are you going to trust with your children?”
Unless Nanny McPhee is available or I can convince royalty to tend to my kids, I’m left to navigate my own options. I keep informed about the realities of childcare through news reports and television dramas, and I assure you, I’m not taking the decision lightly. Trust me to make informed choices about who cares for my little ones.
“It’s going to be harder on you than the kids.”
While this may be intended as comfort, it only serves to diminish my emotional investment in my children. I’d like to think they will miss me, and if not, perhaps I should book that around-the-world sailing trip I’ve always dreamed about.
“Saying goodbye will get easier.”
I beg to differ. The ease of this goodbye will not compare to the relief I feel when I finally escape this conversation.
“Get your waterproof mascara ready!”
Thank you for the heads-up that I’ll be shedding tears upon my return to work. If shedding tears over a nostalgic sitcom is any indication, I’ll need more than just makeup to manage the emotional toll of leaving my children.
“You’ll find the balance between work and motherhood.”
If only the world were as accommodating to working mothers as it should be. Achieving equilibrium between my professional and personal life is no simple task, akin to searching for a lost treasure—difficult and often elusive.
“It’s great for you to return to work; you’ll be a role model for your daughter.”
While I appreciate the sentiment, let’s not overlook the incredible accomplishments I’ve achieved as a mother. Teaching my daughter fundamental life skills and values makes me a role model in her eyes, and I take pride in that.
“It’s beneficial to have adult interaction.”
Contrary to popular belief, I don’t spend all my time at home. I actively engage in playdates, library visits, and community activities. The idea that work is my only avenue for socializing is misguided.
“Work for a few years and then reevaluate.”
The financial realities of life mean that my career is not simply a short-term endeavor; it’s critical for my family’s future, especially considering college costs and other expenses looming on the horizon.
“The time you do spend with them will be more meaningful.”
Every moment with my children is valuable, but the emotional strain of returning to work complicates this reality. Motherhood is inherently meaningful, and the emotional landscape surrounding the transition back to work is delicate.
Returning to the workplace is a nuanced subject for many mothers navigating their postpartum emotions. Support and understanding are crucial during this time; ideally, avoiding the topic altogether is best.
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Summary
The end of maternity leave can evoke a complex mix of emotions for moms returning to work. It’s essential for friends and family to approach this sensitive topic with care, avoiding comments that may unintentionally add to the emotional burden. Supporting mothers during this transition is crucial, and understanding the multifaceted nature of their experiences can foster compassion.