Six weeks post-delivery, after receiving clearance from my healthcare provider, I began taking my twins out in a double stroller for short walks. My routine included a trek to the nearby café, where I would indulge in an iced venti skinny vanilla latte. To maximize my outing, I would often stop at an international grocery store to engage with the owners and explore new culinary options or visit nearby shops for some much-needed adult interaction. During these excursions, I frequently encountered individuals who were unable to contain their excitement about twins, which seemed to be a novelty to those without them.
For instance, one man in line at the café remarked, “You better have two in that stroller!” When I responded with a half-turn and asked, “And if I don’t?” he awkwardly stumbled over his words, clearly unprepared for my question. (Tip: Approach a twin mom with caution before she has her caffeine fix.)
Similarly, a woman waiting for her drink exclaimed, “Oh, they’re so quiet! How LUCKY you are!” I couldn’t help but point out, “We’ve only been here five minutes after a 15-minute stroller ride; do you really think they are this calm all the time?” She then asked, “Are they good for you at home?” to which I replied, “They are babies. They cry when they need to eat, sleep, or be held, and I only have two hands. So yes, they cry quite a bit.” This led her to reminisce about her own children, claiming, “You have DOUBLE the love now!” I could only respond, “Right, including double the diapers.” (Tip: Avoid romanticizing the concept of twin love when you’ve long since stopped changing diapers.)
Another encounter involved a man questioning, “So, are they paternal?” When I clarified that I meant “fraternal,” he seemed puzzled, thinking “fraternal” meant both were boys. I explained, “No, fraternal just means they are not identical; they can be of any gender.” After a lengthy conversation, he concluded with, “They’re cute,” and I simply thanked him. (Tip: If you’re not well-versed in biological terms, it’s best to refrain from using them.)
At the pharmacy, a staff member expressed her amazement at my twins, saying, “Wow! Two babies! Are they twins?” I replied, “Yes,” while internally questioning why that was even a point of discussion. She continued with, “I can’t imagine how busy you must be!” to which I answered, “Yes,” while subtly gesturing for her to clear the aisle. Her enthusiasm quickly morphed into a desire to see the babies, despite my protests that they were sleeping. (Tip: If a new mother indicates she’s busy, it’s best to respect her time and her children’s rest.)
At the Farmer’s Market, another woman marveled at my twins and mistakenly assumed their gender. I corrected her, saying, “No, two girls. Did the floral dress not give it away?” (Tip: When in doubt, simply ask the children’s names instead of guessing.)
One memorable moment at the café involved a woman asking, “Are they natural?” After a brief pause, I quipped, “No, we already have one real daughter, so we decided to create these out of plastic.” The silence that followed was palpable. (Tip: If you’re hesitant to share details about your own conception, it might be wise to avoid prying into others’ experiences.)
In a particularly unusual encounter, a grocery bagger with limited English gestured to my pregnant belly and then made a muscle with her arm, exclaiming, “Good! Grow strong!” I was left bewildered by the interaction and its relevance.
The unsolicited advice and comments from strangers offer a unique glimpse into societal perceptions of twins. For further insights into the journey of parenthood and the nuances of twin parenting, refer to our post on privacy policy and explore resources available through Make a Mom and UCSF on in vitro fertilization.
In summary, parenting twins invites a mix of curiosity, unsolicited advice, and humorous encounters. While the experience can be challenging, it also offers moments of joy and connection with others.