On my 18th birthday, I made a significant choice: I got my first tattoo. After exchanging my driver’s permit at the DMV for a state ID, I ventured to a nearby tattoo parlor located in a strip mall, sandwiched between a Chinese eatery and a coffee shop. My motivation was simple—my mother was against it.
As I browsed through the flash images displayed on the walls, I felt the weight of that decision. Flash art typically features standard designs, from cherries to skulls. When a burly tattoo artist approached me, I hesitated before expressing my desire for a tattoo of a black cross entwined with a yellow rose. He attempted to dissuade me, noting my lack of religious affiliation and the fact that I wanted it inked on my lower back—a location often associated with more risqué connotations. Despite his concerns, I followed through with my impulsive choice, which, in hindsight, may not have been the wisest decision.
Over the years, I have accumulated multiple tattoos and piercings—14 body piercings, to be precise. However, one thing remains resolute: I will not pierce my daughter’s ears. Yes, that’s correct; even as someone with numerous modifications, I refuse to subject my toddler to ear piercings.
From the time my daughter was an infant, relatives have inquired about when I would have her ears pierced, often expressing disbelief that I hadn’t done so already. Many assumed that my own body modifications would naturally lead me to do the same for her. But the reality is, my daughter’s body is hers alone. The decision to modify it should be entirely hers, made when she is old enough to understand the implications.
Some argue that it’s simply a matter of ear piercings; after all, my mother pierced my ears in our kitchen using a sewing needle. However, this perspective neglects the critical issue of consent. All my modifications were made by my choice, and while I may have made questionable decisions, they were my decisions to make.
If my daughter expresses a desire to have her ears pierced at a more mature age, say six or ten, I would gladly accompany her to a professional piercing studio to ensure a safe and informed experience. But until then, I will not impose this choice upon her, as it serves no purpose other than satisfying my own vanity. Piercing her ears is not a cultural necessity for our family nor a medically beneficial procedure, and certainly not worth risking her comfort for something as trivial as aesthetics.
While shiny earrings may seem appealing, they won’t bring her happiness. Instead, her joy currently comes from simple pleasures—Cheerios, her favorite characters from cartoons, and playful moments with friends.
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In summary, while I embrace my choices in body modifications, I will respect my daughter’s autonomy regarding her own body, ensuring any decisions about her appearance are made with her informed consent.