25 Things My Kids Would Never Say

  1. Mom is busy on a call, so we’ll keep it down and find something to do quietly.
  2. I know exactly where my soccer shoes are!
  3. I think I’ll play with my toys now; I certainly have enough to choose from.
  4. What’s for dinner? I can’t wait to eat it!
  5. That puddle looks like a mess waiting to happen; I’m not going to jump in it.
  6. Five hours in the car? I should probably use the restroom first.
  7. I’m too stuffed for dessert, thanks anyway.
  8. I have a lot of homework due tonight; I should really get going on it.
  9. You seem busy; I’ll just ask Dad instead.
  10. We collectively decided to watch the same show on TV tonight.
  11. Thanks for that delicious lunch! I didn’t trade any of it at school.
  12. You’re way more fun than Dad is!
  13. Let’s just get those thank you notes done quickly.
  14. I think I’ve had enough screen time for today.
  15. I’ve got a class project due in two weeks; I’ll start soon.
  16. I feel ready for bed now.
  17. I’m not worried about what my friends are allowed to do.
  18. Could you remind me what I was supposed to do? I want to make sure I follow through.
  19. I’m really enjoying this long drive.
  20. I need to wash my hands before we eat.
  21. I’d like the smallest piece, please.
  22. You’re in the bathroom? No problem, I’ll wait patiently to ask my question.
  23. You’re wearing that outfit? You look amazing!
  24. There’s so much to do around the house; we’re such lucky kids.
  25. We’re running late, let’s hurry up!

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In summary, these humorous phrases highlight the unique and often ironic things children would never say, showcasing the everyday realities of parenting.

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