As I prepared dinner for my son, he shot me his signature look of disapproval, declaring, “Mom! My food is touching!” He has a strong aversion to any mingling of flavors on his plate, insisting that everything remain in its own distinct space. It’s as if he believes that life’s culinary experiences should always come in perfectly compartmentalized portions, ensuring that the ketchup never, ever makes contact with the salad. Yet, life rarely accommodates such neat separations. Sometimes, the ketchup will inevitably spill onto the salad.
This past week exemplified such collisions of life: the messy, the uncomfortable, and the joyous. Our family gathered to celebrate the Jewish New Year, my daughter lost her first tooth, I marked my 37th birthday, and we finally bestowed a Hebrew name upon our baby just shy of her 8-month milestone. Amidst these celebrations, I found myself anxiously waiting for a phone call, enjoying the moments but with an underlying thought: What if?
A couple of weeks ago, I underwent my first baseline mammogram. Despite having no significant risk factors for breast cancer—being 37 years old without a family history, and a non-smoker—I faced the reality that possessing breasts inherently comes with some level of risk. The radiologists reassured me that the spot identified in my mammogram appeared “friendly,” yet they admitted they had no scientific basis for this optimistic view. An ultrasound failed to locate the spot for further examination, and the recommendation was to return in six months to monitor any changes. However, living in uncertainty for that duration felt intolerable. After just a few days of apprehension, I had indulged in stress-eating, consuming far too many tater tots. For my peace of mind, I needed clarity.
Taking charge meant I opted for a stereotactic biopsy. Just before our family celebrations, I found myself lying on a table with a hole cut out for my right breast, a process that lasted about 90 minutes. The aftermath left my breast bruised and sore as I awaited the results.
During this period of uncertainty, I reflected on how, throughout my 37 years, I had neglected to take the time to perform self-exams. A thorough breast self-exam takes only about a minute yet had always been overshadowed by my endless list of responsibilities. Rushing through showers, keeping track of my children, managing household tasks, and fulfilling various commitments left little room for prioritizing my own health.
This morning, as I parked at preschool, I observed the charming little ones, clad in colorful rain gear, making their way inside. The mothers accompanying them often looked much like I did—wet, disheveled, and burdened with children and gear, all while neglecting their own needs. When did we decide to prioritize our children’s needs above our own so completely? Caring for our little ones should not come at the cost of our own well-being.
It’s crucial for women to prioritize their health—not merely for their families but for themselves. Society often emphasizes that we should take care of our health for others, but women deserve to prioritize their own health simply because they matter as individuals. The well-being of women should never be contingent on their roles as mothers, daughters, or partners.
As I embark on my 37th year, I humbly present you with a few birthday wishes:
- Conduct a breast self-exam today. You don’t need to be perfect; just be mindful of any changes. Mammograms typically start at age 40, but being proactive is essential since many issues can develop beforehand.
- Set reminders for yourself to perform self-exams. There are numerous apps like Keep a Breast and Your Man Reminder to assist you in this task.
- If you are 40 or older, ensure that your mammogram is scheduled. If you’re younger than 40, consult your healthcare provider about the possibility of obtaining a baseline mammogram.
- Consider donating to breast cancer research. Contributions, even small ones, can have a significant impact.
- Share this message with anyone you know who has breasts. Remind them that their health is paramount, not just because of their roles in others’ lives, but because they are valuable in their own right.
On a personal note, after a suspenseful six days, I received reassuring news from my doctor: the spot was just a lymph node and nothing to worry about. I’ll return in six months for a follow-up. Rather than feeling I dodged a bullet, I feel enlightened and reminded of the importance of self-care. I’m filled with gratitude, hope, and a newfound commitment to health—complete with a tiny titanium clip marking the spot where the doctors worked.
So, take charge of your health today. You matter.
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In summary, taking care of your health is not just an item on a to-do list; it’s a fundamental aspect of recognizing your worth. Prioritizing your well-being should always come first, setting the stage for a healthier future for yourself and those you love.