The holiday season can be particularly challenging for families with children on the autism spectrum. The combination of holiday breaks from school, bustling family gatherings, overwhelming sensory experiences, and an abundance of food that may not be suitable for selective eaters can lead to increased stress for both children and parents.
As a parent to two 14-year-old sons with autism, I have encountered many holiday celebrations. Christmas, in particular, can present unique challenges. Here are several strategies to help make your holiday experience more manageable and enjoyable.
Arrive Early to Your Destination
Getting to your holiday gathering before the crowd arrives can help your child acclimate to the new environment. This allows time for exploration and adjustment, making the transition smoother. My sons often need extra time to shift from the car to a new setting, so we prioritize arriving early to avoid missing out on important moments.
Bring Familiar Foods
It’s essential to provide foods your child is comfortable eating. For us, this typically includes plain fruit salad—no sauces or extras. In the past, we’ve transported entire meals to family homes, including simple options like lunch meat or chicken nuggets. While these may not be traditional holiday dishes, they ensure that the children have food they will eat without distress.
Consider Hosting
Hosting at home can reduce anxiety, as it allows you to create a child-friendly environment. You can ask relatives to bring a dish to share, which lightens the load. When I host, I can relax knowing my children have access to their toys and familiar surroundings, minimizing the need to monitor their every move.
Provide Activities for Engagement
To keep your child occupied, consider bringing games or activities. For instance, our family enjoys using our Wii system, allowing my sons to engage in familiar games while others converse. This keeps them engaged and helps prevent them from feeling overwhelmed by the chaos of the gathering.
Designate a Quiet Eating Space
It’s beneficial to have a calm area away from the noise for meals. Some families have successfully used quiet corners, like a pantry, for their children to eat in peace. In our case, my sons used to dine in the breezeway at their grandparents’ house to avoid overstimulation.
Maintain Consistent Routines
Holiday breaks can disrupt usual schedules, leading to increased anxiety. Keeping some routines intact can help ease this. For example, during a family gathering, I took my son for a drive to complete our recycling routine, which he found comforting and familiar.
Communicate Your Needs
Let family members know your requirements for a smoother experience. Whether it’s needing a quiet space or support in managing challenging behaviors, most people are willing to help if they understand your needs.
Be Prepared for Quick Exits
Recognize when it’s time to leave a gathering. It’s better to exit before tensions rise or meltdowns occur. Listen to your instincts, and don’t hesitate to prioritize your family’s well-being.
Practice Gratitude
Finally, amidst the chaos, take a moment to appreciate the time spent together. Be thankful for the little things, whether it’s a peaceful moment, a good night’s sleep, or even a funny incident that lightens the mood. Celebrate those small victories, and once you return home, consider treating yourself to some well-deserved relaxation.
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In summary, while the holidays can be overwhelming for families with autism, careful planning, communication, and a focus on gratitude can lead to a more enjoyable experience.