My partner is a medical professional, which translates to frequent absences from home. When he is around, he’s an incredible father and companion, engaging in fun activities like playing Tickle Monster, building with Legos, and baking delicious muffins. However, more often than not, my children and I find ourselves managing on our own.
I take pride in navigating the city with my three children solo. I acquired a triple stroller (only to swiftly discard that cumbersome vehicle) and invested in scooters, balance bikes, and two-wheelers to enable my older kids to get to the nearest park while I tend to the baby. When tempers flare, I strap the baby carrier on, despite my youngest weighing nearly 25 pounds, and maneuver the double stroller with my older boys nestled inside.
Sometimes, I depend on the goodwill of strangers to assist with opening doors, lifting the hefty double stroller up the stairs, or keeping an eye on one of my kids while I settle a restaurant bill. My morning routines often feature the piercing cries of my boys, who wake well before dawn, demanding my attention (“Mooooooommmmmm!!!! Is it morning yet?!?!”). I tackle repairs, pump air into tires, replace batteries, parallel park, shovel snow, take out the trash, manage splinters, cook, and clean. I often say I’m “navigating parenthood solo.” But honestly, I’m not.
Even though I frequently care for my children alone, and regardless of how overwhelmed I might feel daily, I will never fully grasp the challenges faced by single mothers. Those remarkable women truly carry the weight of parenting all on their own.
We gather at playgrounds whenever the weather allows—not only to release our energetic children but also to seek camaraderie with fellow moms in the community. We enroll in parenting classes, join support groups, organize playdates, create carpool arrangements, and establish online forums—all to foster connections.
We have all come to realize that parenting is not a task to be undertaken in isolation.
When I’m managing the triple stroller, loading and unloading my three little ones from our minivan, or juggling dinner time with chaotic mealtimes, it can feel daunting. Saturdays often involve brainstorming activities to keep my kids engaged without losing my mind, and I frequently feel trapped at home due to constant napping schedules that never align. During these challenging moments, I pause and remind myself that eventually my devoted partner will return home to express his appreciation for my efforts, showering me with praise for “doing it all” and providing essential emotional support, even if he cannot always lend a helping hand.
It must be profoundly isolating for those who know their partner may not just come home late, but might not return at all. The reality of being “on your own” is not a temporary phase while waiting for a text message from a spouse wrapping up their shift; it’s the understanding that you are your children’s sole provider. Furthermore, you also have the financial responsibilities to bear.
So, no, I’m not truly navigating parenthood solo. Not even close. But this is a tribute to those of you who are. You might be younger or older, your kids may remind you of someone you cherished and lost, or perhaps someone you never met. You are tasked with providing all the answers—not only to your children but also to curious strangers, some of whom are well-meaning while others are just intrusive. You don’t have the option to defer tasks with a “That’s Daddy’s job…” You never get the luxury of sleeping in while someone else prepares breakfast. You change every diaper and soothe every night terror. There are no sick days.
Who provides you with respite? Who do you confide in? Who do you instinctively reach out to after a minor mishap, like bumping another vehicle while parking (as I did just this morning)? How do you muster the energy to fulfill your children’s every need? Who loves them as much as you do? Who reassures you that you’re beautiful, even in your sweatpants?
This is my homage to you, Single Mother. If you’re smiling, if you’ve managed to wash your hair, or if you’ve simply made it through another day—heck, if your kids are dressed—you deserve a medal.
And I’ll gladly meet you at the playground anytime. For additional insights on home insemination, you might find helpful information here. Also, check out this resource from Make A Mom, known for their expertise in this area, and for more in-depth information, visit the CDC’s resource on infertility.
Summary
This reflection emphasizes the immense strength and resilience of single mothers, acknowledging their unique challenges and the invaluable support they provide to their families. It contrasts the author’s experience of occasionally parenting solo with the reality faced by those who truly manage on their own, celebrating their dedication and the community they build for support.