As a parent of four, and with over a decade of experience under my belt, I can confidently assert that parenthood, much like death and taxes, comes with its own set of unavoidable truths. Here are five somewhat daunting yet entirely predictable realities of raising children, based on my journey. If you haven’t encountered these yet, please keep it to yourself—I prefer to think we’re all navigating the same chaotic waters.
-
Your Child Will Create Bodily Messes
Prepare yourself: your child will likely vomit, defecate, and urinate on you. This could happen in quick succession, perhaps even within the same hour—an event I affectionately call the “Triple Play” of toddlerhood. While you may never fully acclimate to these experiences, you will eventually become somewhat desensitized. At that point, you might consider splurging on something extravagant—a white leather handbag or perhaps a sports car—to compensate for your current state of being. Yet, as you wipe away the remnants of someone else’s fluids, a simple shower will suffice for now. -
Your Child Will Experience Aggressive Interactions
It’s virtually guaranteed that your child will find themselves on the receiving end of another child’s aggression. Just recently, during a routine playdate, my 2-year-old son encountered a similarly aged child who decided to assert her dominance by pulling his hair and scratching his face. The other parent was understandably upset, and as I tended to my son, I also felt sympathy for her and her child. Such incidents are simply part of growing up in a social environment. -
Your Child May Exhibit Aggressive Behavior
On the flip side, expect that your child may also act aggressively towards others. I vividly remember when my oldest son, at age two, became a biter after being bitten himself. His brief phase of biting resulted in quite the scare, especially when he left visible marks on a friend’s arm. My husband and I were left mortified, questioning our parenting skills. Thankfully, this behavior was temporary and not indicative of a deeper issue. -
Emergency Room Visits Are Inevitable
As a parent, you will likely find yourself in the emergency room at some point. My own experiences have included high fevers, playground injuries, and various other mishaps that seem to come with the territory. The swift transition from “Everything is Fine” to “We need to go to the ER” is something that never gets easier. While I don’t cope well with blood, I accept that this is part of my parenting journey—thankfully, I also have health insurance to help ease the burden. -
Your Belongings Will Suffer
If you’re expecting a baby, it’s wise to dispose of any Sharpies you have at home. Children seem to have an uncanny ability to locate these markers, and before you know it, your living space may be covered in their artistic expressions. Walls, furniture, and cherished items may not withstand the creative impulses of little hands. Nevertheless, I remind myself that a home filled with evidence of childhood is a testament to the joy of raising kids. -
Potty Emergencies Will Arise
Parenthood also involves navigating unexpected potty situations. I once faced a dire scenario on a busy bridge when my young son could no longer hold his bladder. In a moment of desperation, I resorted to using an empty water bottle for a makeshift toilet. Another time, while stuck in traffic after a baseball practice, I found myself instructing my son to relieve himself in his booster seat—an experience that was as shocking as it was necessary. This just goes to show that while many parents rush to toilet train, the convenience of diapers should not be underestimated.
In conclusion, these realities of parenting are both challenging and humorous, shaping our experiences as caregivers. For more insights on fertility and home insemination, visit Medical News Today and learn more about at-home options at Make a Mom. You can also check out our other blog post for additional tips on parenting here.