As a parent, I’ve engaged in some rather peculiar behaviors, but slicing a blueberry into quarters stands out as particularly amusing. Recently, while preparing an afternoon snack for my 17-month-old daughter, I retrieved some organic blueberries from the fridge. Upon removing one from its packaging, I instinctively cut it in half. The rationale? A vague recollection that blueberries are roughly the size of a toddler’s throat, which could pose a choking hazard. Despite the absurdity of this notion, I proceeded to slice that blueberry.
Contemplating the halved pieces, I wondered if they were still too large. What if she attempted to swallow a half whole? So, I cut those halves into quarters. At that moment, I couldn’t help but laugh—so much so that my daughter joined in from her highchair. Observing the minuscule blueberry pieces, I realized they were practically impossible for her to grasp with her tiny fingers. To salvage my dignity, I began crafting logical justifications for this quirky behavior—none of which were related to my fear of my toddler choking on a blueberry.
Here are my justifications:
- It serves as excellent practice for mastering the art of cutting peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into perfect quarters.
- All other fruits get chopped, and we certainly don’t want the blueberry to feel isolated or intimidated by larger fruits.
- Slicing exposes the blueberry’s true color, which is surprisingly green inside.
- One day, you may need to perform delicate surgery on your child’s first pet goldfish, and blueberries provide a comparable size for practice.
- Preventing the family dog from choking on a half blueberry is essential when your toddler launches it across the room in a fit of unexpected emotion.
- Some blueberries may contain hidden fortunes—this is a fact!
- It’s vital to check for any Very Hungry Caterpillars that may be snacking inside, as the idea of my child consuming one would be nothing short of tragic.
- Tiny gnomes residing in your pantry could try to steal the blueberry for soccer matches in the cereal box.
- Blueberry juice has remarkable knife-sharpening properties (this is also true).
- With two hands and two feet, the math just adds up.
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In summary, while cutting a blueberry into quarters may seem excessive, there are more than a few whimsical reasons for this action. It highlights the often humorous lengths parents will go to ensure their children’s safety—even if it involves minuscule fruit pieces.