As the new school year approaches, I find myself in the school supply section, struggling to hold back tears. I’m the mom purchasing shoes that are suddenly two sizes larger, trying to mask my emotional response from the young sales associate, who might think it’s odd. I’m the one with shaky hands as I capture a moment of my child, now a flower girl, walking down the aisle—more courageous and grown than I ever anticipated. I refer to these as “motherhood tears,” a unique blend of pride, gratitude, fear, wonder, excitement, and profound love.
These tears aren’t a result of frustration or exhaustion—though those have come in abundance. Instead, they seem to arise unexpectedly, leaving me feeling somewhat silly for crying. I used to believe I was alone in this; however, I’ve learned that many mothers experience similar emotions. I’ve exchanged knowing glances with other moms tearing up at dance recitals or daycare drop-offs, and thankfully, my friends have admitted to having their share of emotional moments as well.
Consequently, I’ve stopped trying to suppress or hide my tears. My seven-year-old daughter has begun to notice, and after witnessing me tear up on her brother’s last day of toddler class, she now asks why I “cry like a mom.”
What Triggers My Tears as School Begins?
I cry because my children are growing up. No matter how prepared I think I am, I find myself sobbing at the door and experiencing a full-blown cry in the car on the way to work.
I cry when she innocently asks if Santa is real, knowing I must share the truth. Such significant moments arrive without any warning, leaving me to navigate them as best as I can. The realization that my little girl is old enough to question Santa fills me with bittersweet emotion.
I cry when he gets his first haircut. Those baby curls, which carry the scent of no-tears shampoo and turn into the cutest bed-head after naps, are my favorites. Watching the stylist snip away those precious curls makes me realize he’s no longer a baby but a little boy emerging from beneath those adorable locks.
I cry at events like Sesame Street Live, where their joy over Elmo is palpable. Is it a parenting truth that our children’s pure happiness can overwhelm us more than it affects them? I certainly didn’t expect to tear up at a puppet performance, but their delight is contagious.
I cry as she prepares for her recital, from the excitement of costumes and rehearsals to the inevitable nerves. The day arrives, and she stands on stage, singing, dancing, or delivering lines with such bravery that I can’t help but shed tears of pride and relief, fully aware that she’s growing up before my eyes.
I cry because I know older kids will be on that same stage, performing with more skill and confidence. I may not know them, but each performance is a reminder that my children will soon be those older kids. The thought of them moving beyond their small beginnings fills me with both pride and anxiety.
This is Why I Cry
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In summary, as school begins, the emotions of parenting can be overwhelming. From celebrating milestones to facing the reality of growing up, tears often accompany these moments. Embracing these emotions can help us connect with our children and appreciate the journey of motherhood.