When defining “mother,” one might simply say, “a female parent.” While this is accurate, we know that being a mother encompasses so much more. Our biology allows us to bear children, but the role of motherhood is a conscious choice that demands daily effort to maintain some semblance of order amidst chaos.
Often, I see comments questioning why mothers express their struggles if they chose to have children. Beyond the obvious truth that humanity depends on women to nurture life, the reality is that motherhood can be incredibly challenging and deserving of expression—and even discussions about mental health.
Those who nurture are often likened to candles, burning themselves to illuminate the lives of others. Society tends to bombard us with messages: prioritize your partner, and you risk being viewed as submissive; prioritize your children, and others may pity you, believing your kids will grow up entitled; and if you prioritize yourself, you are deemed selfish.
Motherhood feels like a precarious balancing act, akin to walking a tightrope while dodging judgment, guilt, and the demands of children. Through my experiences, I’ve learned there are key moments when mothers should prioritize their own well-being.
1. When You Feel Obligated to Say Yes
If you find yourself agreeing to something while wishing you could say no, take a moment to reconsider. Practice saying, “I’ll think about it,” instead. Your time is valuable, and your schedule is likely already full.
2. When You’re Quick to Commit
Before jumping into new obligations, pause and remind yourself of your existing responsibilities. As a mother, your to-do list is extensive.
3. When Envy Strikes
If you catch yourself comparing your parenting journey to others, take a breath. Remember that every parent faces challenges, even if they aren’t visible.
4. When Frustration Rises
If you find yourself snapping at your children, recognize that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. You’re not a bad parent; you’re a human being experiencing stress. Don’t hesitate to ask for support, and take guilt-free breaks when necessary.
5. When Satisfaction Lacks
If you feel unfulfilled, allow yourself to explore new interests. Whether it’s painting, gardening, or even listening to music, finding a hobby can rejuvenate your spirit and enhance your overall happiness.
6. When Anxiety About Cleanliness Hits
If your home feels chaotic, remind yourself that cleanliness is fleeting. Kids will inevitably create messes again, so focus on what truly matters.
7. Every Day Matters
On every day that ends with a ‘y,’ remember that you are significant. Make choices that nurture your mental health and well-being; everyone around you, especially your children, will benefit from a happier you.
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Summary
Motherhood is a multifaceted role that necessitates self-reflection and prioritization of personal well-being. By recognizing moments when to pause and focus on oneself, mothers can foster a healthier family environment while maintaining their sanity. Remember, every day is an opportunity to make choices that lead to a more fulfilling life.