Occasionally, I glance around at the chaotic whirlwind that is my life and think, “This could make for an entertaining reality TV show.” However, the answer to that proposition would unequivocally be NO. Here are my reasons:
- My children have adopted a philosophy where clothing is optional within our home.
- As a mother of three boys, their conversations often revolve around bodily functions. For example, the older two find it uproariously funny to ask the youngest, “What do you get when you mix a poodle with another poodle?” and he joyfully replies, “Poo Poo!”
- There are moments when I genuinely lose track of my toddler. While I’m absorbed in washing the dishes, I might suddenly realize I haven’t seen him in a while. He could be busy flushing countless wet wipes down the toilet or scaling the top bunk. If this were televised, it would likely attract the attention of Child Protective Services (CPS). I typically ensure bathroom doors are closed and take the ladder down immediately after he wakes to prevent accidents.
- Other times, I do know exactly where my toddler is—standing atop a chair he dragged over to the kitchen counter. And yes, I’m capturing the moment with my camera.
- Our household has not yet grasped the concept of “volume control.” It gets incredibly loud! One child can be so boisterous that I can feel my eardrum vibrating. And when he goes to bed, it’s not quiet. Just last night, he was in bed, half-shouting, “Mamamaaaamammmmaaaama, Mom, maaaamamaaaa!” But then he sweetly follows up with, “Mom?”, to which I respond, “Yes, Bud?” and he says, “I love you.” How can I possibly be annoyed?
- My boys adore playing with Legos, which I wholeheartedly support as it fosters their creativity. However, Legos have infiltrated every corner of our home. The formal dining room, once envisioned for sophisticated dinner parties, is now the “Lego room.” They rarely remain contained, and I dread the thought of cameras capturing the moment I inadvertently vacuum some of them up. It’s amusing to watch house-hunting shows where couples dream of spaces for entertaining!
- I often drop my oldest son off at school while clad in pajamas. The little ones frequently join him in this attire. Just last week, my middle child was only in his underwear during the drop-off. Clothing is indeed optional!
- While video cameras might catch the tender moments, like when my middle child affectionately pats his little brother’s face and whispers “I love you,” the editing would likely focus on the chaotic times, such as when the two older boys are wrestling or when I frantically shout, “Where are your shoes? Brush your teeth! Hurry! We need to leave!”
- Our breakfast choices can be quite unconventional. My middle child has been known to request popcorn or even tilapia for breakfast.
- Using a plunger has become a near-daily necessity. Whether it’s wet wipes or the occasional green lightsaber toothbrush, our toilet encounters a variety of obstacles.
- My house maintains a “company clean” status for about four hours each month. Thanks to a housekeeper who visits twice a month, I do have those blissful moments of cleanliness. However, it requires significant effort to prepare for her arrival, and the tidiness typically evaporates within minutes of the kids returning home. It’s far from the pristine conditions expected for television audiences.
- There was a time when I accidentally locked my oldest son and my cell phone inside the car at a Kohl’s parking lot. Fortunately, a kind stranger called the fire department, and within eight minutes, they arrived to unlock the doors. Thankfully, my son slept through the entire ordeal. This incident occurred during a time when Britney Spears was facing her own struggles, and I couldn’t help but feel relieved that I wasn’t in the limelight like she was.
What would your life reveal if cameras were capturing your every move?
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Summary:
This article humorously details the many reasons why reality TV is not a suitable fit for a chaotic family life filled with loud moments, unconventional breakfast choices, and the challenges of parenting three boys. It highlights the tender moments amidst the chaos and the humorous realities of daily life.