My partner and I have shared our lives together since the beginning of my adulthood. We’ve been a couple for nearly 13 years and married for 8. Throughout this time, I have never allowed myself to relieve my bladder in his presence, and I go to great lengths to prevent any embarrassing moments, like passing gas. Grooming my intimate areas around him? I’ll wait until he’s not around for that.
I simply can’t bring myself to do it. I want to maintain the allure in our marriage, to be viewed as a stunning, sensual goddess who doesn’t need to deal with the mundane realities of bodily functions. Sure, he knows I engage in these activities, but I prefer not to make a spectacle of them. After all, no couple really needs to know every unappealing detail about each other.
And then I became pregnant.
What can I say? The air of mystery quickly evaporated. While I still haven’t urinated in front of him, “morning” sickness hit me at the most inopportune moments—like when I was brushing my teeth before bed. Aware that it was his fault I was heaving up everything I’d ever eaten, including an unfortunate incident in the shower, he supported me through those nightly battles, holding my hair back and rubbing my back while I retched. Not to mention, he took on the task of cleaning the toilet since the smell of cleaning products was unbearable for me during pregnancy.
Unfortunately, this was just the beginning of the end of the goddess persona I had carefully crafted. I developed painful, boil-like blemishes on my back that would fit right in the “before” section of ProActiv ads. When my OB suggested a pregnancy-safe remedy, guess who ended up applying it to my inflamed skin? Yep, my partner. So now, the beautiful, sexy goddess he thought I was has thrown up at his feet and has an oozing back that he has to touch.
But that’s not the worst part. The experience of pregnancy-related bowel movements is truly a challenge. Don’t get me wrong; the relief after finally being able to go is unmatched. However, the discomfort and pushing during these moments make me feel like I’m preparing for labor. Even just the thought of needing to go after taking a stool softener makes me wince in agony. With our only bathroom conveniently located right next to our bedroom, my partner has unfortunately been privy to my vocal struggles, likely wondering what on earth is happening in there.
Add to this the OB appointments he dutifully attends, where he’s witnessed countless examinations, including a vaginal ultrasound where the technician asked if I wanted to insert the probe myself. The image of a pristine goddess is now gone, and I’m realizing I need to embrace this new reality—because just as pregnancy has prepared me for labor, these experiences are mentally preparing me for the moment when my partner will be present during the birth, where all manner of bodily functions are likely to unfold.
While the original goddess I presented to him has been transformed during this pregnancy, every night after he applies medication to my unsightly back, he places his hand on my growing belly, kisses me, and tells me I’ve never looked more beautiful to him.
I, on the other hand, look at him in amazement. I don’t question how he can still see beauty in me; instead, I find myself wondering what miracle substance he must be using that allows him to think that, and I hope I can have some of it when labor begins.
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Summary:
This article highlights the transformative experience of pregnancy and how it impacts the dynamics of intimacy in a marriage. The author shares her journey of going from a carefully maintained image of beauty to confronting the realities of bodily functions during pregnancy. Despite the challenges, her partner’s unwavering support and love shine through, illustrating the depth of their bond.