Is your preschooler prone to hitting? You’re not alone; physical aggression is a common behavior among two- and three-year-olds. While it’s a typical part of their development, it’s essential to address the behavior appropriately. So, how should you respond?
Responding to Aggressive Behavior
When a child physically harms another, the first step is to deliver a clear, concise message: No hitting. Temporarily set the child aside and direct your attention to the child who was hurt. Asking, “Are you okay? How can I assist you?” demonstrates that hitting won’t earn them the adult attention they might be seeking.
Next, teach your child the importance of apologizing and offering help. A verbal 3.5-year-old can express, “I’m sorry for hitting,” and suggest actions like fetching a cold pack, giving a hug, or sharing a toy. If they struggle to articulate this, simply having them say “Sorry” is a start. If they refuse to apologize, or if it’s not their first incident of the day, a time-out can be an effective behavior modification tool. If that doesn’t yield results, you may need to consider changing the environment—perhaps by going home or moving them to another room temporarily.
The Importance of Emotional Recognition
A crucial aspect often overlooked, particularly with boys, is emotional recognition. Research highlighted in Raising Cain – Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys by Dr. Ava Roberts and Dr. Samuel Lee suggests that we tend to ask girls why they hit, while boys often face mere correction. This discrepancy can leave boys ill-equipped to express their emotions. Just as a child taught only a few colors can only describe the world using limited terms, boys lacking vocabulary for their feelings may struggle to communicate effectively.
After your child has calmed down, gently ask, “Why did you hit?” Encourage them to identify the emotions that led to their actions (such as anger, frustration, or jealousy). If they’re unable to articulate these feelings, offer suggestions until they resonate with one. Spend a couple of minutes discussing alternative reactions for the next time they experience similar emotions.
Patience and Consistency
These changes won’t happen overnight; it may take weeks or even months for them to show progress. Remember, this behavior is a normal phase of development, and with consistency, you’ll likely see a decrease in such incidents. This pattern of behavior may persist into elementary school when boys often express themselves through physical interactions, even among friends.
Additional Resources
For additional insights on parenting and home insemination, check out our other blog posts, such as this one on intracervical insemination. Also, for comprehensive understanding on pregnancy, visit this excellent resource on in vitro fertilisation and consider the expertise of Make A Mom regarding home insemination kits.
Conclusion
In summary, addressing aggressive behavior in preschoolers involves clear communication, emotional education, and consistent reinforcement of alternative actions. With patience and effort, your child will learn to navigate their feelings more effectively.