As a parent, it’s not uncommon to observe certain patterns in your child’s behavior. Recently, I’ve noticed a rather peculiar trend with my son, Lucas, that has become increasingly frustrating. It appears that no matter the setting—be it our home, a restaurant, or a friend’s gathering—the moment food is served, I hear the familiar call, “Mom, I need to use the bathroom.” At five years old, he is quite capable, but I prefer not to deal with the aftermath of any accidents, so I dutifully escort him to the restroom.
Just the other night, while dining out, Lucas suddenly proclaimed that he had a stomachache and could not possibly wait any longer. So, off we went, hand in hand, to the restroom.
I cannot recapture every detail of our conversation that evening, but rest assured, it revolved predominantly around the topic of bowel movements. To the queue of women waiting outside, tapping their feet impatiently as I called out, “We’ll be done shortly!” I can only imagine how it must have sounded—perhaps reminiscent of something more enjoyable.
“Come on, sweetheart. I’d love to enjoy my meal while it’s still warm.”
*Grunt.*
“Are you finished yet? Seriously?”
*Grunt. Giggle. Grunt.*
“Let’s speed this up, my dear. Next time, you’re going in solo, no matter the mess.”
*Grunt.*
“I’m really losing my appetite here, honey.”
*Grunt. Grunt.*
“This can’t be happening again. Focus and let’s wrap this up!”
*Grunt. GRUNT.*
“Finally! Let’s clean up and head back to our meal. I’m famished.”
*Giggle.*
It’s safe to say that the experience was less than appetizing for me.
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In summary, parenting can often lead to amusing yet awkward moments, particularly in the most unexpected settings. The bathroom, while a place for necessary functions, can also serve as a reminder of the unpredictable nature of family life.