Each year, there comes a day when my family celebrates me—Mother’s Day. My children treat me to breakfast in bed, often presenting me with handmade jewelry. Who wouldn’t appreciate cold toaster waffles and necklaces crafted from elbow macaroni? These moments, although brief, provide a refreshing break from the daily grind of preparing snacks, managing minor ailments, and checking for imaginary monsters in their closets.
However, the night before Mother’s Day brings a more somber tone. It’s a time for reflection, a moment to think about a woman I may never meet: my son’s birth mother. He was placed for adoption after being abandoned at just two days old, likely due to medical challenges his birth family could not manage.
I know little about his origins, and I have no insight into the circumstances that led to the decision not to parent him. I often find myself pondering who he inherited his cheerful dimples and spirited nature from. In many ways, his life truly began when we met, in a bustling government office when he was three.
Yet, it’s more complex than that. His story did not begin when I entered his life, and although I may never learn about his past, I hold a deep understanding of the mother who came before me. She occupies a distinct space in my thoughts, especially during times of celebration like Mother’s Day.
I’ve spent considerable time wondering about the choices you made. Walking away from a sick child must have been an unfathomable decision, one filled with heartache and hope for a better future for him. I like to imagine you watching from the shadows, ensuring that he was seen by someone who would care for him.
While I don’t fully grasp your decision, I do not judge you for it. I understand that it was a painful choice. I hope, as time has passed, your pain has lessened, although I realize that may be a wishful thought.
To say I think of you often is an understatement. I wonder if you ever find peace. Do you think of him? Do you ponder about me? I wish you could see how happy, healthy, and thriving he is. I wish you knew the depth of my love for him.
He doesn’t ask about you yet, but I know that day will come. I long to communicate with you, to understand what you would want me to share with him about his heritage.
I often think about your appearance and your voice. I wonder if you possess a sense of adventure or if you have quirky dance moves. I’m curious about your height, weight, and hairstyle—if you have a rebellious strand that never stays put.
I wish you knew that I think of you during our son’s milestones, both big—like his first day at school, and small—like baking chocolate chip cookies together. You are not forgotten. In my own way, I cherish you.
People often say he is lucky to have me. While you may agree with that sentiment, I believe I am the fortunate one. I want you to know that he is safe and happy, and we will always remember you.
You are the person I yearn to meet the most, even though I understand that may never happen. I think of you in quiet moments, wondering if you think of me too.
Someone once told me that I changed his destiny, but I feel that he has altered mine. You played a crucial role in that as well. Thank you for the precious gift you bestowed upon me this Mother’s Day.
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Summary:
This heartfelt letter reflects on the complex emotions of Mother’s Day for an adoptive mother, who expresses gratitude and wonder towards her son’s birth mother. She contemplates her son’s origins, the difficult choices his birth mother made, and the connection that remains between them. The letter serves as a tribute to the birth mother while celebrating the joys of motherhood and the bond shared with her son.