In the early days after welcoming my first child, I found myself tormented by disturbing thoughts. As I carried my baby down the stairs wrapped in a blanket, I imagined tripping and crashing against the wall. While driving to the store, I envisioned a head-on collision at high speed. Even bath time was fraught with anxiety as I pictured my little one struggling underwater. I feared I was losing my mind, transformed into a person consumed by dread due to sleepless nights. Then, I confided in another new mother.
“I experience that all the time!” she exclaimed, and in that moment, we felt a wave of relief wash over us. We rationalized our grim imaginings as a form of maternal instinct—our minds alerting us to potential dangers so we could safeguard our children. We navigated stairs with caution, drove more defensively, and avoided rushing to answer the phone with our little ones in the tub. In our own way, we were being responsible parents.
Fast forward seven years, and while these thoughts are less frequent, they still haunt me. Now, I also envision a troubled young man entering my child’s school, causing harm during lunch. I imagine catastrophic events at sporting events or cars barreling into crowds. These are fears that lie beyond my control.
Recently, my father remarked that my generation seems to be overly protective, suggesting that we are “walking around scared.” That resonated with me—perhaps we are shell-shocked. While we may not be on the front lines of war, we have been subjected to two decades of pervasive anxiety. Throughout our 20s, we witnessed tragedies unfold live on television: planes crashing into buildings, people jumping to escape flames. Since then, we’ve been bombarded with a constant stream of “Breaking News”—wars, violence, and horrific acts both at home and abroad. The litany of tragedy includes bombings, child endangerment, and unthinkable acts.
And then we had children.
As the news cycle relentlessly churns, it becomes increasingly challenging to maintain a sense of happiness. With media outlets vying for our fractured attention, they amplify the negative until “Breaking News” becomes a permanent fixture on our screens. For example, when I turned on the television yesterday in search of a children’s show for my four-year-old, I was met with a report about a Jordanian pilot being executed by ISIS. Many news platforms now carry graphic content warnings, raising ethical concerns about the depiction of death in such a casual manner. Death is commodified, readily available to anyone who seeks it.
Through social media, we are privy to intimate details of our friends’ lives and the tragedies of strangers. We hear about potential dangers in our neighborhoods and beyond, creating a false sense of omnipresent danger. While the internet offers a wealth of information, it can also distort our perception of reality. Just because we read about a missing child doesn’t mean the world is more dangerous than it used to be; statistically, it isn’t. The real threats often come from those we know—family, friends, and local figures—rather than strangers.
To safeguard my mental health and avoid becoming the fearful person I worried I was becoming, I limit my exposure to local news. I steer clear of graphic content and articles discussing child fatalities. I strive to maintain a balance—staying informed without succumbing to negativity and despair. I remind myself that although death is a reality, it doesn’t define our everyday lives. The world is vast, and while we cannot shield our children from every danger, we can create an environment that fosters happiness and independence.
Let’s commit to reducing our consumption of violent news, refrain from dwelling on the suffering of others if our children are thriving, and acknowledge the world as the expansive, predominantly positive place it is. Let’s spend quality time with our children, allowing them to experience failure and sadness, so they can appreciate happiness. Engaging with strangers can cultivate empathy rather than fear. Instead of hovering over our kids, let’s ride the waves of life together, enjoying the ups and downs.
This approach to parenting may not be ignorance but rather a path to a more blissful existence.
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Summary:
Navigating parenthood amidst a barrage of distressing news can be overwhelming. It’s essential to find a balance between being informed and protecting our mental health. As parents, we must strive to focus on the positives in our children’s lives, creating an environment that promotes happiness and independence while acknowledging the complexities of the world around us.