If you had interrupted my teenage reverie—immersed in the poetry of Jack Kerouac or the sounds of an R.E.M. cassette—to suggest that I would one day be a stay-at-home parent of six children, I would have laughed heartily and dismissed the idea. I was determined to avoid the conventional domesticity that seemed to confine so many of my peers. The thought of wearing a metaphorical apron of societal expectations was utterly foreign to me.
Fast forward to today, and I’m expecting my seventh child at 41, embracing the joys of daily routines like preparing lunches, braiding hair, and, surprisingly, living a smoke-free life. My youthful ambitions of joining the Peace Corps or working at the CDC seem distant now, but they painted a picture of a life filled with adventure and purpose—one that did not include a supportive husband or a full house of children.
Despite the many changes life has brought, there are still aspects of my 17-year-old self that remain:
- Passion for Reading: My love for literature endures, although the time it takes to finish a book now stretches to nearly a year. I gravitate toward books that aren’t adorned with cartoon characters, and my bedside table is stacked with titles I aspire to read—most of which serve as reminders of my dusting duties.
- Appreciation for Music: My taste in music has evolved but still resonates with my younger self. While my children may not appreciate my Neko Case and Wilco albums, I find myself singing along to contemporary Top 40 hits, a change that has its own discomfort. I do find Ed Sheeran’s charm appealing, which keeps him on my playlist.
- Interest in Fashion Trends: I still keep an eye on fashion, not because I plan on donning midriff tops or expensive jeans, but to ensure I can guide my children away from dubious clothing choices. It’s essential to be prepared to say “no” to certain trends.
- Desire for Adventure: In my youth, I sought out opportunities to experience live music and meet bands on tour. Now, my “party bus” is a 12-passenger van filled with kids. This new adventure is less about rock stars and more about managing the chaos of family life, complete with my Xanax for stress relief.
- Value of Solitude: As a teenager, I often relished time alone to reflect on life’s mysteries. Currently, my quiet moments are scarce, but when they occur, I use them to attempt to read from my ever-growing collection of books—hoping to finally finish one!
- Enduring Love: I remain deeply in love with the same person I admired at 17. Now, he is a wonderful partner and father, and while our lives have changed drastically, our connection has only deepened.
- Culinary Mishaps: Occasionally, I find myself amidst smoke—not from indulgence, but from kitchen blunders, such as forgetting to set a timer for chicken nuggets. The smoke alarm has become an accepted part of our household symphony.
My younger self would not have anticipated the joy found in mundane tasks like deciphering ingredient labels or celebrating small victories like laundry completion and children mastering self-cleaning. The profound satisfaction of a good night’s sleep and the luxury of not reheating coffee repeatedly was beyond her imagination.
It’s fascinating to consider that the artistic spirit I had in high school was unaware of the true sources of happiness and growth that life would present. Life is about setting off on a journey, discarding rigid plans, and embracing the unexpected waves that come our way.
To my 17-year-old self: I’ve embraced the role of domesticity, and I’m thriving in it.
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Summary
The author reflects on the ways she remains connected to her teenage self amidst the realities of adult life as a mother of seven. While her ambitions and circumstances have changed dramatically, certain core interests and values endure, illustrating the journey of growth and adaptation.