To my beloved partner,
This morning began with a rather invasive awakening featuring our sleepy toddler’s finger lodged in my nose, her head comfortably situated on mine, and her warm breath creating a sauna effect, smoothing out the wrinkles on my forehead.
Today has been a marathon of small children clambering over me, tugging at my clothing, and using me as their personal napkin. They poke, squeeze, sneeze, snuggle, and wrap around me so tightly that I often find myself waking from nightmares of being engulfed by squids at the end of a long day.
While I adore you, I must kindly request that you refrain from those enticing hands of yours for just a moment. I need a little PERSONAL SPACE to transition from mom to wife.
So, as we approach our date night, please consider these points:
- It may be date night, but our children spent a considerable amount of time today playfully pinching my stretched belly button before I found myself unexpectedly handling a leaky diaper. So, let’s take a moment to pause.
- It may be date night, but I haven’t had a moment to relieve myself since I woke up. During my brief bathroom escape, our newly potty-trained little one followed me in, offering to assist. Let’s just say that mental image needs a moment to fade.
- It may be date night, but I am still in the same bra from yesterday, which I, regrettably, fell asleep in. To make matters worse, the baby decided it was a good idea to spit up into my cleavage, and I didn’t even notice until now. I have some regrouping to do, and perhaps an incineration of the Victoria’s Secret catalogue on the kitchen counter would help.
- It may be date night, but our daughter decided my arm was a suitable canvas for her nose-wiping art, only to declare it “mashed bananas” (which, I assure you, it was not). So, I’d appreciate a little distance while I scrub both my arm and that memory away.
- It may be date night, but I spent the majority of the day on my knees, cleaning up dried spaghetti sauce, gathering a million sensory beans, and dealing with carpet stains. So, despite how alluring my holey mom pants may be, I’m in dire need of a breather.
- It may be date night, but that wild look in my eyes is the result of enduring toys that sing, honk, or play “Let It Go” in multiple languages. So please don’t take it personally if you find me quietly huddled in a corner instead of indulging in romantic chatter tonight.
- It may be date night, but I spent the day cooking while juggling a child on my leg, another on my hip, and the third crying out for attention. Therefore, I’d prefer an order of silent meditation for dessert—make it a double, please.
- It may be date night, but I just managed to finally get the baby to sleep, and I’ve already made a pact with the universe to keep her peaceful. If she wakes, I’ll be nursing her for another twenty minutes, and let’s just say my body is currently grappling with an identity crisis. So, if we could remain quiet for the next six hours, that would be splendid.
I love you, and you remain incredibly attractive, but today the kids were so clingy they might as well have been inside me. I genuinely need to recharge before I can look into your dreamy eyes and think of anything beyond the profound desire to shut mine and drift off.
So, for now, let’s enjoy some wine and whole strawberries, sit by the fire, and reminisce about the love we shared long ago. Keep me close through the night, especially when the toddler attempts acrobatics on my face at 3 a.m.
Thank you for understanding. Happy Date Night!
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Summary:
In the realm of parenthood, balancing personal time and romantic relationships can be challenging. The author humorously illustrates the realities of being a mom while preparing for a date night, emphasizing the need for personal space and time to recharge. By sharing relatable anecdotes about daily parenting struggles, the narrative highlights the importance of understanding and patience between partners.