The other day, I encountered a familiar face while navigating the bustling school hallway. As we hurried past each other, she remarked, “Your book is about to be released — are you excited?” I nodded enthusiastically, as one typically does when asked such a question. “Absolutely!” I responded, thinking this was the expected reply. What other reaction could I possibly have? It felt akin to the routine exchange of “How are you?” with the inevitable answer of “Good.”
However, this acquaintance was not prepared for my tendency to overshare. “Excited? Well, that’s not quite the right word,” I admitted, dropping my bag with a thud. “Honestly, I’m kind of panicking.”
“What if it flops? I’ve invested so much of myself into this project. What if people don’t connect with it? What if no one spreads the word? What if the reviews are harsh? What if my publisher is let down by the sales? What if I embarrass myself during promotions? What if I freeze up during a reading?”
Taking a deep breath, I continued, “I know, I know — it’s a significant accomplishment just to have completed a book. I should savor the journey. Who cares if the sales are low? I’ll manage, right? I get that; yet, I can’t seem to enjoy it. I can’t explain why.”
I leaned against the wall for support, feeling the weight of my thoughts. “I am excited, I suppose, but there’s a whirlwind of other emotions swirling around too. This level of pressure is unfamiliar to me. I’m not accustomed to being held accountable like this, and it feels overwhelming.”
Suddenly, my acquaintance interrupted, fumbling with her silent phone. “Oh, I think I heard it ring; it must be important. Good luck!” Without a second glance, she hurried off, likely seeking to escape what she perceived as a chaotic conversation. I wouldn’t be surprised if she opted to switch schools to avoid future encounters with me.
The Takeaway
The takeaway is clear: if you inquire about my feelings regarding the book, be prepared for a response that might not align with your expectations. And trust me, you probably don’t want to know.
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In Summary
It’s natural to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety when facing a significant life event, such as publishing a book. It’s essential to recognize that these emotions coexist and that seeking support can be beneficial.